your heart doesn't shatter anymore
(at least you don't think)
it just hangs in limbo
like a fly stuck in a viscous liquid
and you just watch it until it
suffocates
drowns.
.
nights are still spent counting stains on your ceiling
days are still wrought with long sleeps and dry cries
nothing has changed
yet there's a new emptiness that tags along on short legs
it hides in your shadow and doesn't want
to be seen.
(you don't have the strength but if you did
you'd go looking for it
demanding from it what it wants.)
.
coffee tastes bitter and alcohol empty
food settles in all the wrong places
and you can't touch yourself anymore.
you're aware you're fading into a dryer stain
something no soap can get out
and yet you just ignore it
turn the music up louder.
.
your wrist hurts and your eyes burn
but you don't stop.
breathing hurts and you can't see
but you keep going.
perhaps something is on the other side
perhaps the sun won't burn this time
but more than likely
you'll still be left behind.
.
(you can't explain emotions
you only know how to scream
to cry
to burn
there's a wall you've built
a dam that holds back everything you hate
and you've become so scared of it breaking
you've ended up climbing too high
with no way down.)
faggulicious Community Member 
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