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I'm a bit less anxious than I was when everything just kinda fell through the cracks. Granted, I have to testify against my ex boyfriend/Father of my daughter next month on the 14th after he broke my nose and refuses to plead guilty. I haven't seen Tristan Lee Watkins in since June 26th...close to six months ago. I have to face him for the first time in months and I'm still not 100% how I'll react. Will I cry uncontrollably from the lack of closure and the crushing disappointment of him moving on with another woman so quickly? Will I lose my mind and try to punch him in the face? Will I be perfectly fine and be able to look him in the eyes? I don't know.


What I hate is how EVERYONE THAT I KNOW that were mutual friends of the 2 of us refuse to speak to me and back that POS up. So I definitely learned that none of my "new friends" aren't my friends at all simply because of who I am, morally, as a person. I'm more mature than they are and we're all at the same points in ours lifes. I guess the difference is that I don't do a drug "just to say that I've done it once". i don't do dumb things just because of some stupid bucket list that I have in the back of my mind that's full of bad ideas.


He abandoned our daughter a few weeks back.
See: After his new gf's dog had bit our daughter, I told his mother (since I can't speak with him directly through a court order against him) that my daughter isn't allowed back over to this woman's house ON TOP of her being a drug addict. Well on one of his weeks where this rule is suppose to be in place, his mother runs off for the weekend and doesn't feel the need to tell me. My ex Tristan drops my daughter off to his brother with not a single change of clothes, said that he had to work and didn't come back for her for 3 days. No one bothered to contact in that time until it was time for my daughter to come home. I understand that his brother didn't tell me because he thought that Tristan was coming back for her when he never did.

Well now he has another child on the way! And if I'm hurting for any reason it's the simple thought of how my baby girl will be treated after this new child is finally born and my daughter deserves the world and a father that loves her...I feel like I can give her the world but I believe that she'll never see the right person loving her mother, but I can only hope that she'll always know her self worth. I hope that she will always know that there is no man, woman...ANYONE on this Earth that she should feel obligated to..