It's finally December 1. My surgery is the morning of December 4. So I have to make it today, Saturday, and then Sunday. I can't even have water after midnight. If I need to take a valium, I can have a sip of water.
Yesterday I did well! All day I was good. But about 8:30 pm I fell apart. I had a couple little slices of cheesy potatoes, some turkey, and tuna on a bun. In total, because I shared with the dogs, it couldn't have been 300 calories in all, but it was food. I decided the best thing to do was go to sleep so I wouldn't eat anything else. I woke up about 45-60 minutes after falling asleep and was so sick to my stomach. Everything that went down came right back up -- and I'm so grateful!
Today I weighed in at 207. I know it's a lot, but I was at 223 on November 4. For surgery day, December 3, I wanted to be at 210. I've done that and I'd love to be at 205 for my new goal. But, it's only 3 days and that's almost a pound a day. I don't know if that's even possible.
Today I have to work on a book about my mother. I have to get this computer *well, this is my new computer so it's the other one I've been using* into the mail to my dad. The book isn't nearly ready to go and it's supposed to be much farther along. I am moving all the files to this new computer so I can send it to him and claim those are the old files and I'm sorry. I'll send the new files on a thumb drive to him, but that's just postponing the inevitable. He doesn't understand why I just can't stand writing about this woman. I don't even know if people would believe how bad she was. He views her as an angel but I know the truth - she was a spawn of Satan. This book is a joke and I get sick just working on it for a few minutes. I just have to take my valium and sit down and do it. But today I'm preparing the computer with his sites and passwords and removing all my stuff from it so he can't see what I do. That means no real work on the book, though. I guess it goes as it goes. I think I'm working on the book because I feel sorry for him. But I can't do another one about this topic no matter how much he offers to pay. It's slowly driving a spike into my brain. I could finish it in a couple hours, maybe a whole day, but it just kills me -- my mind zones out on me.
Ah well, surgery in 3 days! The rest of the world can wait for me to get back up to speed after that.
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My profile pretty much tells about me and if anyone is interested, they can look there. But I've wanted to have a blog/journal for a while, but I just haven't gotten to it yet. This isn't going to be anything fancy, at least that's not my intent, but
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