Me: I'm 42 and grew up in the central US. My parents were of the old school -- kids should neither be seen nor heard. They believed affection was best shown via money and accomplishments -- in other words, if I accomplished something good they would give me money, if I did something bad, I was ignored. No, I don't like them. No, I don't think they raised me right. No, I don't hold it against them. I don't think either of them knew how to love -- and they still don't.
My Husband: He's in the US military. So far he's spent 6 months in Kuwait, 12 months in Baghdad, and is now in his 6th month of his second 1-year tour in Baghdad. He's not close to anyone in the family anymore, but who can blame anyone -- he's been gone the last 4 years just about.
My Oldest Son -- 18 years old: He's a big kid with orange hair. He's always been like a big teddy bear. When he was born his hand width was as large as my little finger. He'd wrap his hand around my finger and you couldn't see it at all. He's always been great with smaller and younger children. In kindergarten he was a bit of a problem -- just didn't catch on quickly and got after the kids who teased him. But his teacher assigned a little classmate -- a girl who'd been born prematurely so she was tiny and the kids made fun of her -- and it made him thrive. In 5th grade he was in a school play. I was with the kindergarten class to watch it and when he came on stage I whispered to the kids around me that he was my son. They got so excited! It appeared that at recess and lunch times he would spend his time amusing the little ones.
My Only Daughter -- 17 years old: She, too, loves chilren. She's given up a job paying about $40 a day to work with children as a volunteer. All of the people whom she has babysat have said she is incredibly reliable. She has taken some college courses already and is thinking she wants to be a helicopter repairman in the Air Force, a professional photographer, a day-care owner, a clothes designer, an actress, and I'm sure a few other things she hasn't told me about. She and I have some wonderful time together. We talk about everything from live Internet cameras (and her being on one, as a hypothetical) to favorite food. The nicest thing she ever said was just the other day. "Mom, when I get famous and I'm on a talk show it's going to be really boring. They'll ask what the worst argument I had with my mother was and it will be that she forgot to order a movie and it got sold and we had to buy it later." Truely, we are friends.
My Middle Child -- he's 16 years old since yesterday: This is my autistic son. When he started school he won awards every month for citizenship. He was a great student. Nobody knew anything was different about him. He did speak strangely, but then when he was 4 we took him to a speech/hearing specialist and he said the poor boy hadn't been able to hear anything. That's why he was always the one closest to the teacher and holding her hand. He picked up all his cues from touch and view. After his surgery it was fun watching him in the bathroom -- he didn't want to flush the toilet because it made such a loud noise, but he had to use at least one hand to do it so he couldn't cover both his ears. In fourth grade he had problems in school and we took him to a psychiatrist. The doctor was the state/national expert on autism and after about 5 minutes with my son he asked why autism wasn't listed on his health conditions. With that knowledge we looked at his history and realized that all those cute little things he did were signs of autism that we didn't know we should put together and that the educational system didn't know enough about, either.
My Fourth Child -- he's almost 15: He's a Gaia-nut. Rather than embarass him, I'll not name him or give any hints. The only thing I will mention is that out there somewhere lurks a 15 year old who signed up with a birthday 10 years previous to his so he was listed as an adult and didn't need to worry about any parental things. Since he was 13 he's been conversing as an adult and nobody has thought any differently. I believe he has been described as an "a*****e" by those with small vocabularies. But then, almost everyone agrees with the assessment. The problem is that he's just too quick. He can take any side of an argument and win. He can ridicule anyone without them realizing it. At 3 years old he was riding in the back seat of our car and announced, "Mom, did you know that 4 3 times is 12. And 3 4 times is 12. And that works with all the numbers." How many 3 year olds figure that out on their own?
My Youngest -- yes, he's the baby of the family and he's 13 now. He and I are pretty close. It's only been in the last month that we've stopped having prayer and lullaby together at night. He, as the others, has been home schooled and doesn't have excellent people-skills. But he's much more active outside the house. He's had a paper route with friends and plays with other children in the neighborhood. But he gets all the grief from the older children. He takes their teasing pretty well. As the smallest of the boys by nearly a foot and about 50 pounds, he's been the brunt of many jokes. However, in the last couple months he's grown about 4 inches taller and it looks like he's going to be the biggest of my boys. His tallest brother is about 6' 4" and my youngest is ahead of him on the growth scale. We'll just have to see, but I have been warning the older boys that he's probably going to be the biggest, strongest of them so they'd better start being nice.
As you can see, I love my children. That's why I decided that I needed to share them with someone else. And that's why I think they've turned out so well. None has had trouble with the law, smoked, drunk alcohol (well, that fourth one helped me with an almost totally non-alcoholic margaritta once), taken drugs, or had sex. They all know they can talk to me about everything and feel free with the off-color jokes they hear as well as the nice ones. Those jokes have gone as extreme as discussing the subject of masturbation and they know that it's not something that's out of our discussion limits. All of my children are bigger than I am and yet I have control. There is no way that I could ever force any of my children to do anything physically. And yet I have only to ask and they do as I have asked. I don't ask for a lot -- just what I really need. They know that, so when I do ask, they know I need help. They do what they do out of love, not because I'm holding anything over their heads. They also know that no matter what they do, I will always love them. I may not like what they do, and I may be disappointed, but the love will never waiver.
Mittxe Community Member 
|
|
