I've been crying like heck this week, and even though I want to I won't enclose the information here. Whenever I talk about my personal problems I always feel embarrassed and like a drama queen afterward. A nasty little voice in my head constantly reminds myself, "stop trying to self pity yourself, it won't work. There are people dying all around the world, and here you are being upset. It won't work, Lily, it won't work." I won't get into that... but I've been having a train wreck of a week. Horrible stuff lurking at every corner, yes... I dropped a bunch of money just today and had another crying bout. I feel so frustrated! And I've heard that excessive crying too much is harmful to your eyes, so I have been unsuccessfully trying to stop it. I've also taken to putting a roll of toilet paper and saline water in my room.
I hate how sensitive I am, I loathe it! It makes me feel awfully weak. There's nobody I can talk about my problems with. Normally I get periods of depression with spazzes of strange ecstasy sandwiched in between, but recently I haven't been having those relieving happy moments as often. I think that dying isn't that bad after all, and I want time to quickly pass so I can escape from this world. But I'm not yet suicidal because of my religion.
Meh, even though I'm not satisfied with this journal entry I'll just have to end it here.
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Serene: To the General Public At Last
A few pieces of Ser's thoughts and life, which are carefully broken down from her life mosaic and preserved into this online journal. Read with care.
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