Everything in life comes in seasons. Nothing lasts forever.
Right. I'm officially going to stop my tradition of having two-part subject titles for my entries.
It feels like it's been forever since I wrote in here.
Something happened two days ago. It's complicated, so I don't feel like describing it out here. But it made me feel so lonely, and it made me realize that a lot of my friends are not real friends. I am their last resort, who they call last when they have nobody else to talk to. They just want to see how much they can get out of me. Benefits, money, ridiculous favors, and so on. I've helped them through so much, and then they turn their backs on me when I fall down. I still have Alice, but she's been so busy that we hardly come in contact anymore. Around lunch I went to the rest room so I could muffle my voice with paper towels and cry. It didn't last long, though--I'm getting better. I still feel a bit drained now because of that, but I do feel a bit better.
Gah.
I feel so alone. I feel like adding to the depressing messages on my school's bathroom walls.
On another subject. There is a girl I really love. Faults and all. She doesn't know it, but I do. In a way this makes me feel jealous because I crave to be loved in that way. I wish there was somebody who would really love me, want to listen to my troubles, accept my flaws, find me special, and want to be around me regardless of whether I'm happy or sad. If that happened, I would feel so alive!
In two weeks, Ser. In two weeks, you can sleep to your heart's content and have some more time. Until then... study! D<
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Serene: To the General Public At Last
A few pieces of Ser's thoughts and life, which are carefully broken down from her life mosaic and preserved into this online journal. Read with care.
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