Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Been a while, anyway I've been working on social experiences, and realized many things. I noticed alot of these things are common sense, like why certain things happen when it rains. But I'm realizing the more technical reasons of why it rains, how each and every living thing is effected by the capacity of which it rains, and how different regions of the world are dictated almost entirely by the weather.

Enough of the strung-out analogy.

I am 'realizing that Almost every person in this world, at some piont in their lives, weather it be 6, 16 or 26, begin to develop an image. It is not only an image that is meant to be conveyed to the outside world, it is something that can be consistently returned to to reinforce their identity. This ‘image’ is something that is developed and is exhaustingly built, almost like a castle.

For most individuals, if their castle is being attacked, it’s not enough just to bunker up and wait for the siege to end, A counter attack is made in full force until the attacker withdraws, or you die inside. Even if you simply feel threatened by another person, you will rush to reinforce your image, your castle. A thought similar along the lines of “so what if he’s richer than me, I’m still much more intelligent than him”, or “Okay, so he’s smarter than me, I can take him on in a fight any day of the week” plays in your head. Seemingly this thought plays in your head, either in the front as loud as daylight, or echoes in the back simply calling to your attention. There is no one who is an exception to this rule, or if there are, I have yet to meet or hear of any.

Unfortunately, this narcissistic behavior of thought has been found in every person i have ever spoken to.(The exception being young children.) It is so common, that conversions held with people in can be taken advantage of and moved towards your favor by simply understanding it.

The greek even had a word for it, I think it was Hubris.

Recently however, I have discovered that by occasionally leaving this ‘castle’, I feel an incredible sense of freedom. As if the freedom I have bothered to stay alive searching for has been found. It was almost glorifying. But as freeing as these leaves of absences are, I don’t think I could ever completely leave my glorious, magnificent and beautifully epic castle behind.

I envy whoever can.