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I'm still posting here because there is actually at least one person who bothers looking at my posts.

When you say it, listening to someone seems like such a small thing. It's something that pretty much anyone can do, provided that they know the language of the speaker and can either hear, read, or understand sign language. Yet, it's becoming a steadily less common thing for people to do. We're all too busy wrapped up in our own lives or the lives of the celebrities and politicians on the television. Even listening to any real talk programs on the radio is getting to be a rarity. Of course, depending on the degree of listening, one can probably find a lot of listeners.

There are the "I'm only listening so that I can find a place for me to make my point and make it all about me" listeners. These people listen until you pause and then they interject with a fact or point relating to their lives. They use whatever you're saying as a way to talk about themselves. They have no actual interest in whatever it is you're saying.

Then there are the passive grunt listeners. These are the ones who at least stay quiet while you talk, and respond. Kind of. When you pause, they grunt. That is the response. They show little or no interest in what you're saying, but they have the decency to at least not go off and babble their own worlds.

And there are the "I'm really trying to care" listeners. These people do make an honest-to-god effort to listen to what you're saying and respond like they care, but they either don't care or lack the conversational skills needed to get their involvement across. They sit straight and say "uh-huh?" in an expectant tone and, occasionally, ask relevant questions.

And least common of all, there are the devoted listeners. People who either seriously care what you have to say, or are so gifted at acting the part that no one can tell the difference. They're quiet when you talk, except for laughing or groaning in the right places, and they ask questions that actually lead you to talk about whatever it is you're talking about more. And, when you're finally done, they ask you another question that's sort of related, but can lead to other things. It's like they have nothing they would rather be doing than listen to what you have to say. In all my (few) years of living, I have only met one of these.

Actual listening isn't really the issue, I think. It's the effort involved in caring that makes or breaks you. And your own conversational skills and overall personality. Some people just have a greater capacity for not being self involved and others need to be listened to all the time and can't have it any other way. It's just life. At any rate, I'm probably between passive grunt and really trying on a good day anyway, so it's not like I'm a perfect listener myself.