Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I did one when I turned 17, so I figured I'd keep the pattern going. Cheers.

Well... once again, my life has had dramatic changes since I turned 17 last year. Not quite as dramatic as last year, but, then again, maybe even more dramatic (or, depending on your standards, nothing has been dramatic at all). Certainly, 18 is nationally recognized as a bigger deal than 17, but somehow, turning 17 seems like it was a bigger deal. Who knows, right?

The final year of high school has been a year of extremes. We've had a lot of fun, but life has managed to suck pretty badly at times, too. I got the first C of my high school career (the rest being A's and B's) and I found that I really didn't care that much anymore... and the rest of my grades were one B and 5 fairly high A's, so it's not all bad. I probably still made honoroll. Though, the C is ironic when my last report card moved me from 5th place to 4th on the rankings for seniors. We also did our senior prank and had senior skip day, today, which was a lot of fun. I think that it was the feeling of camaraderie, rather than the actual mischief that made things fun. We all worked together and had fun as a group. There were also several other small ups and downs, but they're more strongly felt than in previous years.

In my personal life, the person I'm going out with has changed. My new boyfriend is not only geographically closer to me, but he is pretty much the exact opposite of my old boyfriend. Obviously, this has it's ups and downs, because there were reasons why I loved my old boyfriend, but there was also a few damn good reasons for us to break up. But such is life, right? Anyways, I met my new boyfriend in real life when my dad and I went on a trip of 1000 miles to visit his family (which happen to live near NBF's house) and so I got to visit and we really hit it off. The relationship hasn't been easy due to problems from both sides, but we're working things out a little at a time. He came to visit during winter break and my mom and I went down to visit him during my spring break. Now we're working on getting him to be allowed to come here for 3 whole weeks during the summer. Wish us luck, okay?

Last night, I was going through a drawer full of my work from high school... I think I have all my years up until last year in there... but maybe not. There was at least freshman year there. I used to be quite the artist, it seems... I wonder what happened to that. It's like I've lost my creative/imaginative edge. In some ways, I wish I could go back in time and start high school over with all my old classmates and my old personality... nice art, few worries, no empty seats in the classroom (figuratively speaking)... it would be great. On the other hand, I haven't done anything I'm really ashamed of and my life has gotten pretty interesting. I'm good where I am, even if there is a little lonely nostalgia sometimes. Though, in freshman year, I never really imagined myself having a boyfriend, let alone a long distance one and even less a long distance boyfriend who would fly up to see me... but it happened. I think I could get back into creative things if I felt like it... maybe when things have settled down and my future is safely insured. The creativity is what I miss the most, I suppose. Knowing that I used to be able to make art that was that interesting.

Overall, it's been a pretty interesting year so far. I'm sure that my next year will be a whole hell of a lot more eventful, but I'm not there yet, so I don't know. We'll see. I'll get older and look back on this stuff and wonder how I thought it was significant or be amazed at how immature and childlike my writing is, but that's okay. Cause it'll mean that I'm changing and maturing. C'est la vie.