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Not to turn my journal into an angst cesspool but I'm starting to go downhill here.

I'm starting to not do my schoolwork, and I'm losing focus on nearly everyone around me.
No, I'm not contemplating suicide or anything like that; I love life far too much to ruin everyone else's around me.
I think my problem is still Ben, as usual.

After this week I'm thoroughly convinced that he does like me. I don't know what to do about it.
And I don't freaking know why I'm not willing to do something.
I mean, I take risks in everything else.
The first time I ever rode roller coasters was this past fall, and they got me on the freaking DOMINATOR. I'm riding the Intimidator this fall when we go back >>;
I may be skydiving in June as a 'celebration' for getting through the schoolyear and ACT/SAT stress.
I'm willing to try anything at least once whether I like it or not, and I always speak my mind about my opinions.
Yet, the one thing I've never been able (or really attempted more than once) to do is talk about how I feel about people. I guess it comes from my household, where we're expected to somehow keep all our personal opinions to ourselves. We talk about everything except what we think of each other and people we know.
So, what does that make me? An open-minded individual who's afraid to tell people what she really thinks of them.
Awesome.

Stupid society, making people this stressed over things that shouldn't be stressful at all.
But I mean...why am I stressed like this? There is no reason for it; I know I like him and I'm confident he likes me...or at least likes me enough as a person that if something -does- happen we'll still be friends.
Maybe it's a fear of being hurt? Last time I had a 'boyfriend' I hurt myself before he hurt me and I think that was to keep it from hurting as bad when we did break up, althought it was mutual lol.
Or maybe it's a fear of love, somehow.
The stereotyped Disney-movie image of love that we've all got engrained in our consciousness might be part of the issue. I only know one couple that actually has something close to this, and it's absolutely adorable.

I'm aware these fears are stupid and immature, but I have so little experience with men in this field that I have no idea what I'm doing.
The last time I asked Ben out it was really awkward and strange. I don't know how to approach it again, nor if the awkward would blow over as quickly.

What do you guys think? (Since I know there's -someone- reading my journal since the other entries from Angst month have view counts more than 1 and I'd like to know who you are lol >_> )