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The Skeleton Song
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

One day my skeletons appeared
And I knew where they were coming from
Hung by a rope I volunteered
And I never thought the day would come
Some boundaries I once overstepped
Shortcomings I must now accept
Secrets that could not be kept
I wish my skeletons had slept

You're not being honest really
You're really not and ought to be
Take an honest look at yourself
Try a little honesty

To further add to my demise
Demons never exorcised
Appeared before my very eyes
To no one's just my own suprise
A scenario just so surreal
Demons once so well concealed
Were now throughout my whole ordeal
So real and painfully revealed

You're not being honest really
You're really not and ought to be
Take an honest look at yourself
Try a little honesty
You're not being honest really
And honestly you've never been
You ought to take a look at yourself
Let the honesty begin

In flew the accusations, the razor-toothed insinuations
Each ghost my own creation, and every monster my invention
Beasts they came to burden, hell I let whatever stirred in
And I couldn't get a word in, at this unearthly intervention

They let up when they knew they got through
They knew I'd never be the same
With little left to say or do
They left as quickly as they came
The life was scared half out of me
Some way somehow I survived
A part of me was proud of me
The day my skeletons arrived

You're not being honest really
You're really not and ought to be
Take an honest look at yourself
Try a little honesty,try a little honesty



Another one of those songs. I saw this song live, for the first time, when I was 19 years old. My skeletons arrived when I was 21. I struggled until I was 24. Three years of fighting demons....three years of relearning how to be human. It took three ******** years to put myself back together.

3/5 of us are diagnosed bipolar. I watched my mother deteriorate under the care of her psychiatrist. I watched my older brother self medicate with booze and drugs.

me? I chose the hard way.....

Three years.

I still struggle with it to this day. I have to monitor my mood, my reactions, the things I say. I had to learn to let things go.

Some people use drugs to control it. Some people use prescription medications. Some people use religion as a crutch to keep them standing. All those things, they eventually fail. You have to learn to control it. You have to teach yourself to recognize the symptoms and then cope with them.

I swung between two opposites, never in the middle. I was either utterly withdrawn, morose, tired and sad, sleeping upwards of 12-14 hours a day, sometimes thinking of suicide but never could bring myself to do it.....or I was angry, seemed cheerful but the anger was always brewing right there under the surface, I was reckless, I was hypersexual, I was a chronic money spender, I rarely slept....I fell in love over and over and over again, got bored, dropped them, moved on, broke hearts left and right.

I have a mind that can see into people. I can tell what they want, what they need, how they think. I used to use that against them. I would use it to get what I wanted, what I craved, what I thought I needed.

I had to break down each behavior, draw out, in my mind, each symptom....I had to try, again and again, different things and different methods.

There's no easy way to shatter yourself, pick out all the jagged, sharp, harmful bits and then put yourself back together.

A person such as me can never be unbent, untwisted. We can only learn to control ourselves.

I just had to make those twisted bits a part of the whole. I had to build around them something that could stand up straight.

I am no longer ashamed of what I was. I was ill. I was a very ill young lady.

The biggest part of the struggle is admitting to that illness. I don't mean going and getting a piece of paper from a psychiatrist. I mean looking yourself in the mirror and acknowledging how ill you really are.

Then comes the massive self examination, going through your words and thoughts and actions with a fine tooth comb to see what just doesn't belong.

********.

It can be done. It's just a ******** load of work. *sigh*

Make Me Believe
Godsmack

Throw away my dreams
This fight for my life isn't getting behind me
And I've been told to scream
Where no one can hear me, it doesn't mean nothing

So make me believe
Just take me away from this hell I've created
And I'm afraid
I'm breaking my own vows knowing I'll go down in flames

I know this can't be right
There's got to be something more that I can live for
And I can only hide
Inside of this sickness for so long again

So make me believe
Just take me away from this hell I've created
And I'm afraid
I'm breaking my own vows knowing I'll go down

Make me believe
Just take me away from temptation that's calling me
And I'm afraid
I'm breaking my own vows knowing I'll go down in flames

Running in circles
Confusion is calling my name
Hiding inside of this poisoning madness again
I'm tired, I'm broken
I'm walking along with the dead
Will I ever feel like I once did?

So make me...

Make me believe
Just take me away from this hell I've created
And I'm afraid
I'm breaking my own vows knowing I'll go down

Make me believe
Make me believe
Make me believe
I'm breaking my own vows, knowing I'll go down in flames