At this point my mind is
simply screwing with me.
I try to think, and all
that comes up is
a big fat middle finger.
Nothing has cleared, and
it is actually starting
to piss me off a little.
I try and put my head
on straight, but it just
won't work.
Nothing is working
for me anymore.
I try and dig myself
out of this hole that
I have essentially dug
myself, but my foot holds
never last that long.
Momentary comforting
words are quickly gone
once I begin thinking
about it again.
Nothing has yet to come
from my attempts to
get this out of my head.
Maybe there is a reason.
Perhaps I can't get it
out of my head because...
It belongs there.
It is a sign that what
I have come to hate
myself for is actually true.
Perhaps all the trouble
that this has been causing
my mind is there because
I want to disprove it.
But perhaps I can't.
Perhaps I have been walking
down a path of light and truth,
with the illusion that it was
covered in thorns.
Maybe I need to be the
one to follow suite
at this point.
Perhaps my attempts to
follow will produce results.
Perhaps if I follow, it will
show the truth, whether that
truth is what I want, or what
I have been assuming
for the past month.
Something tells me I may
not like what I see, however.
Sand_Coffin Community Member 
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