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This is the 'One Word Story' from the Monty Python guild, all of it up until now.





The day sun shone like a dim bulb. Rabbits ate onions covered with green ooze that turned into a great big aubergine which destroyed me. Thank the Lord it didn't hurt too much, although my a** (had) been scorched so it became infected with crabs. They pinched and gnawed vigourously at my cordless limb. It really bloody hurts a lot. That's why I don't trust penguins. They can create havoc with toothpaste and sharp spoons. Although meese never hurt anybody, so someone will eventually want to kill me. You're gonna wish you hadn't completed that stupid bomb yet. So I thought hard about kidnapping the gigantic stuffed WABBIT! I'm so stupid about animals when I try to create SPAMwiches for bunny, but they couldn't arrest her for manslaughter because there wasn't enough a cop to take three different tanks. Suddenly so much depends on a lot of lollipops doing laundry while playing chess and Twister!

Later, I discovered a bucket containing dry bread and moldy limburger wigs. Then I took refuge on a floating marmoset named Rodney, who licked the long, bumpy rock happily, knocked over because he didn't pay Foamy peanuts. Therefore, he believed Monty Python was knitting booties with sharp and fluffy toothpicks. So then ferrets ransacked the castle, taking hordes of candy oracles and machetes with congealed toilets from Hell! So nothing is able to fart at me ...fortunately, pants are gone so I'm safe from killer monks and nuns. Anyway, I feel high whenever I inhale coconuts through solid jello shots laced with arsenic and Tequilla. In bed while I drink Tang and Quik. Today during class a bloated turtle with polished shoes flew upwards toward my personal ceiling fan! But tragically, the turtle caught in the fan ? breaking it to tiny pieces scrillions ? so sad.

Anyways, how was Great-Uncle Jimmy on Saturday during Happy Hour? Dunno, but I trust this dollar can go to the bank fast.

Love so fine is, that backwards in hippopotamus-land - home to many frugal lagomorphs flooping to and fro without any legs. "Crazy!" said Mrs. Buttersworth - Syrupy Entrepreneur. Mildred wrote SCREW YOU on her stationary shop door. "The smells Of victory" Nonetheless she held the pencil against her toes and frilly named Joe Abdul the Great! "Oye!" proclaimed Theo who is tormentor to Mima and Ram. "Woe is them!" said King Midas, lover of golden butts, went to the big cheese sculpture museum, he then ate the big golden apricot in muffin world, which was inside the gift wrapping lane on aisle five. "Clean the toilet with your toothbrush moron! Now! Fine! HUH?" Said liar's butt. Itchy buttscratcher. "Whoa, who the fk are we" said my masseuse butt. So What? Do we do now? "Dance!" said Mr Persimmon. I enticed me to seduce him to a shag carpet with my horny-toad-person-thinger there beside me. I'm insane, especially me! True! True! Truly! True! Truth be told, Eric raped jars without lids because he is extremely messed up in my head of cabbage with vinegar. "Salad anyone?" said Miss Piggy upon Kermit's knee-cap. "Wow! Rad! Cool! Tubular!" said I to go to bed. The sofa was lumpy and reeked of socks! Bleh! Meh! Geh! Feh! Heh? Meh. Kweh! Heh! We should stop saying things about Doug's mom - nasty, dirty, smelly, dainty adjectives!

"YOW! WOW!" said several mongoose-dogs who were gay as spring llamas frolicking through fields of hyacinths and jonquils toward Starbucks, so they called Domino's and ordered some mozzarella cheese sticks! They tasted it and burst open and melted into sticky, gooey piles... all in a matter of speaking.

So opulence is useless unless someone buys throngs and masses of Cheetos. And Fritos and Speedos. Then life died forever because God decided to ditch every man and woman and dog for bloonies and condoms that inflate to the Anderson's monkey's spleen factory disk from Albuquerque.

So years passed, and Joe Pesci sold records for orphans on ice and made many mobsters cry, and then one jumped and splattered and didn't come up and I said "Forrest, life really blows monkey chunks."

"Yes, I seduce and use people."

"What?!"

And then my androphomine kicked in Anderson's front and sat and pondered what Bush and Cheney and Powell did not attempt mass static cling or andreximities, dude! And and it Turkish belonged and detested and decided and twitched because Dr. And hatched an evil plan which (encompassed a huge variety of different things, including hamsters, ferrets, and lawn gnomes. A large variety of schemes focus on the captive, but this one focused on the captor) vexed and the Turkish government and little Andy Anderson and androgenized and vomited Comet and guilds and! Some insects tennis! Trees spew farther and heavier and chunkier due west of trees over and much rejoicing "Yaaaay."

Moogles kupoed sweetly around Cactuars and Chocobos and Moombas and stuff.

Square Grumblecakes cheated Cheatcakes instead and Bubs said "Sbub!" So, Dumbstar ate Marshie. So naturally Homestar danced and annoyed and exploded all up in here. Douglas shot Jhonka with legions of commandos and Eh! Steve!

Senor Havin-a-lot-of-trouble, devouring mauve dinosaurs with languid chews, disturbing eons. So opium nymphs eat each bagel inflamed with oozing Ovaltine suitors. Oftentimes, pork hammers pound emaciated and homely errogenous Coneheads into sticky goop spawning undead Demonesses named Trixie enraptured Prince Humperdinck so allusions which delusions your meaty a**s. Playlists are seemingly dangerous when shiny Miss Clueless tries not to fall over her uncanny Stilletos. She seriously needed to laugh out of Potter's snivelling little peanut-butter coated blank check written in green, sparkly, invisible raccoon blood. Frisky the Gnat worked against jutting chins who farted on Winston Churchill's gravestone. Onions make Maxwell House sexier because...




...aaaand, that's where it ends, folks.