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i don't really know what happened..i just..all of the sudden...lost it. everything i worked for the person that i tried so hard to become, i thought that maybe if i could really see the reasons behind the actions people take and the choices they make i could figure out how to exist harmoniously. but when i obtained that sight...i only saw the vile underling that is the human essence...and it broke my heart. i felt as if i was emotionally dead i lost my sense of pride in myself and my mental ability because i knew some where, deep down, that it would only bring pain.but, after a while, and even after i had given up all hope a will to survive this cesspool we call society, something started to pull me back. it hasn't justified or proved itself, but that small hope, of finding someone...anyone...who has lifted themselves above the need for immersion in those doomed societies...has given me the hope of finding just the right form of love.