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Hellol gaians biggrin I seriously dont know if anyone will see this, so i guess it is a good way to 'spread my wings' so to speak. well I guess i should say some things about myself, im cindy, and im 16(17 on may 5 3nodding ) I live in port-aux-basque newfoundland and i wouldnt have it any other way. we dont live in igloos and drive dogsleds or any of that nonsense, and i go to school at st. james regional high. I seem to love all colours... I love to read, draw, write, basically be creative although im not that good at it some times. whee I guess i ll start with my friends... they occupy all my time other then babysitting(which is like a part time job to me) and school (whihc is totally dead in my mind). My Life has consisted of moving, constant chaning, ive moved 11 times, which should be a world record in the amount of time ive lived. That is probably the main reason i am shy when i meet people... Also the main reason i choose my reltionships wiht people carefully, i have a main issue wiht assessing the problems in my life way to much, I usually think about things to the point of knowing every thing that can happen in every scenario, even ones that could never happen. I know alot more then my friedsn give me credit for, although they probably know alot more about me then i think they do, but i doubt it. i choose my boyfriends carefully, heck ive been called stuck up, tease, any other variation of the word, even though i dont do anything, i think they mainly get mad at me for not going wiht them and then call me the first thing they can think of. As for all the girls who make fun of me, they hurt me all the time but i figure one day karma will bite them in the a**, at leasst thats what i tell myself at night. it helps. okay im rambling a bit so ill get on track and pointform the past 3 years-

- moved here, moved in wiht jennifer9same age as me) and her family, my families life long friends.

- got own house a month later, while getting introduced to everyone by jenn(who knows everyone)

- went to school (grade cool and met up with jenns crowd, became a follower. at this point i would like to say that i met jenn's then bf, bradley kendall, who i held the biggest crush for.

- got put in jenns shadow and loved it, thought i had a great friend group

- school ended and i was ignored all summer

- school started, jenn was my friend again, i loved her (not in a gay way, although theree is nuttin wrong with that) and wanted to be just like her. she hooked me up wiht one of her friends (earl) who i broke up wiht 2 months later becuz i realized he sucked.

- met melissa, who became my close friend and i changed groups, i was never the same wiht jenn again.

- met ryan, melissa's bf. melissa became jealous because she thought i was in love wiht ryan (which i wasnt) therefore she left me and we were never the same.

-started hanging out with ryan and his group which included michael, bradley(yes the same bradley as above), ben, and a few other people

- went out wiht bradley kendall ( i was ecstatic over it even though he was an acclaimed bad boy)

- broke up 4 weeks later becuz he cheated on me... twice,... and i found out later he cheated on me over five times... yeah... we are close friends now tho

- after the break up mikes group (as mike is the 'leader') sort o broke up a little, and i found my self back in melissas group... she went back out wiht ryan...

- i dont want to go into details, but a few weeks after i joined there group, i got blamed for trying to murder ryan,.... now i just want to point out that i am a good person and would never hurt anyone, this was all false rumours, but anyway the police weer involved... i dont wanna gert into it

- anyway i joined mikes group again.

- met cecilia

- school ended

- hung out all summer, went khaiaking and did some great stuff

- grade 10 started

- went by very boring... i cant remember much except that i met michael osmand, who i call mo and i left all my gal friends for good, from this point on i was completely tom boy, except that i like pink and dress like a girl.

- over the summer i met matthew and his group, i liked him alot, and we started going out, i actually loved him... but after 3 months he cheated on me... and we broke up, we dont talk much anymore but we are polite to eachother...

- school started

- i met rob, and he started hanging out with us

- i must tie up a few loose ends... ok to clue things up , mikes group died, completely, and was reborn as mike, me, mo, rob, jamie, chris. now the old group does get together sometimes and we are all still close friends, but as of now mikes group is the above names.

- i might wanna point out now that 4 out of the 6 people i just mentioned have liked me at a point in time... well 4 out of 5 cuz you have to take away me...

- okay anyway i went out wiht mo after a long time of questioning it, and people interrogating me, and then almost eveyone in the group above reacted jsut as i woul dexpect them to, 1 left me in his memories, 1 thinks of me as a siren, 1 got over me way quickly, and 1 supported me as any friend would.

Now comes to today, i went out wiht mo on march the 10th and he is a great person, someone i can laugh with ven over the stupidest things. i do want to mention rob more though, becaus ei beleive i owe it to him to say a little on im, considering he has been ther for me more then anything, more then most other people, maybe more then anyone. i know he blames himself for alot of s**t that shouldt be put on him. hes sweet and great, like a talking teddy bear. he will probably read this... maybe the only person, but i need to thank him for everything. I know it may be weird, but i dont think i will every like him in a romantic way, he is a great person and cute and lovable, but i dont love him... i dont say love even to mo... which may be weird to some people , but i think it will mean more if i say it when i truly mean it. i like him more then alot of poeple... although right now i am doubting myself. hes on a wrestling team you see, and hes been away for 3 days, and he said that when he came back we would spend al sunday(the day he returned) together watching movies. well its 3 30 sunday... he got home at 8... and i havnt heard from him ... at all... and im not the clingy type.. at all... i dont like the mushy crap that all other girls seem to crave upon... anyway i havnt heard from him, i know hes in pab cuz jamie (also on the team) and his gf have already been talking to me... i dont know, he may be just busy or sumthing, but ill live... wish i knew where he was... hmm... i guess well jsut have to see...