Here I am. Sitting here... doing absolutely nothing.
And I don't want this to sound like this was the last thing on my mind.
'Cause It's not.
It's one of those things... those things that cloud out everything else.
It chokes out everything. My brain... It can't breathe.
You see, there is a gap now.
I didn't realize what kind of a void I had until it was emptied.
But I know now.
'Cause It's empty.
And I feel the vacuum sucking everything else out of my head.
I don't know what's making me write this.
Is it stupidity?
... Possibly.
But you know, I couldn't resist the urge for writing this.
'Cause It's overwhelming.
_________________________________the greatest thing
I wanted you to know that you were one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.
'Cause you're awesome.
And I can't help wondering...
Another one of those thoughts that just...
Latches onto your brain and just...
Stays there.
'Cause I'm afraid.
'Cause I'm afraid I may lose hope.
'Cause you were awesome.
And nothing can take that away...
Not from you, anyway.
I hope it never gets taken away from anyone else.
'Cause you're a jewel.
Maybe I'm greedy.
God... God, I hope not.
But I...
I don't know.
'Cause my brain is overpowered by these thoughts.
Thoughts about you.
Thoughts... Thoughts that are flowing through my fingers right now.
Thoughts about you.
And I realize that I may just be dreaming.
But I hope I can get you back.
'Cause you're awesome.
And I want that awesomeness.
'Cause It fills that void I was taking about.
But maybe you just didn't want me anymore.
In that case, you think I'm pathetic.
Hell, you'd probably think that either way.
Am I pathetic?
God, I hope not.
'Cause I'd have no chance.
But, if that was what you were thinking, please, don't pity me.
I hate pity.
'Cause it's pointless.
And you shouldn't waste time on me that way.
Spend your time doing something important...
Go get a new boyfriend.
Get a new boyfriend that you can fit your schedule with.
'Cause that's why you rid yourself of me.
'Cause you didn't have time.
Was it really because of that?
Because, if you really wanted to be with me, you would have ignored that.
But, you gave me the, "You don't deserve this," line.
Why?
What the hell do I deserve?
I surely don't know.
Please, if you spend any more time on me, even if it's to tell me off...
Tell me what I do deserve.
'Cause these thoughts are painful.
Is it less than you?
Or, is it more?
'Cause, if I deserve more...
Then that's pity.
And I hate pity.
'Cause it's pointless.
But please...
Don't lie to me.
'Cause that's coldhearted.
And it hurts to see you do that.
And if you're gonna shoot me down...
Have fun with it.
Make me not want you anymore.
'Cause I'm out on a limb here.
Your choice, though.
No pressure.
Is it because I'm too quiet?
Is it because I'm not good looking enough?
Is it because I'm too much of a smartass?
Is it because I'm too strange?
'Cause, if it's that last reason, you're preaching to the choir.
But please... Don't get mad if the reason you gave me was really why.
I'm sorry if i doubted you that way.
Just tell me.
Again.
'Cause I miss your voice.
Just give me a way to improve.
And don't give me pity.
'Cause those who are pitied are dirt.
And you shouldn't waste your breath on dirt.
Just, please...
Spite me if you want to.
Just don't pity me.
'Cause I hate pity.
And I'm stuck here, writing this.
'Cause all I can do is write.
'Cause you know I have trouble with words.
'Cause that's how I work.
And I am clear to be shot down.
No clouds.
No trees.
More like a fish in a barrel.
'Cause I trust you will understand my need to express myself.
I could be wrong.
I'm not perfect.
And I'm nowhere near as perfect as you are.
'Cause you're awesome.
Silvrtide Community Member 
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