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FASHION

It?s almost spring, everybody, and now all those clothes you saw at Fashion Week in New York or Milan (as in, on your TV) are getting out to the street! What will you be wearing? Burberry Prorsum? Spring break apparel from Abercrombie? Or maybe just lazing out at Wal-Mart or Sears and buying anything that fits?

(You can probably guess which option is the best.)

|| BURBERRY

You?ve probably all seen the classic Burberry check?or plaid, as we say?in either the real thing or the knockoffs. (Guess which one is more common?) Burberry?s absolutely famous, absolutely classic, so traditional beige, red, black, and white check is known throughout the world. Their spring line for 2005 isn?t bad, either.

Toile, which is more thought of nowadays as sofa-covering, is back in designer Christopher Bailey?s collection, in which he designed a breezy toile coat inspired by blue-and-white Wedgwood ceramics. Otherwise, we saw more of the classic Burberry?simple lines in striped shirts and scarves, plus pretty bottoms in colors like yellow, green, and magenta.

OPINION:

Brilliant. You can wiggle your arse down East Broadway in it while not looking like a peacock.

|| CHANEL

Karl Lagerfield has done it again.

As if hosting Nicole Kidman wasn?t enough, the runway was energized and vintage models Naomi, Shalom and others were strutting their stuff in Chanel, which favored black and white or whispery pastels this season. There were various twists on the symbolic Chanel tweed suit, too, but all in all the clothing was as elegant, graceful, or shmechsy as ever.

OPINION:

I really enjoyed staring at this white dress with beaded chiffon for ten minutes. I think that says enough.

|| CHRISTIAN DIOR


The show for luminary designer John Galliano?s spring collection was also marvelous, with gorgeous jackets that just make you want to rip them right off those leggy models? backs. The nicely sculpted jackets and flippy, comfortable-looking skirts were either in vibrant colors or in various tones of beige, but that didn?t lower the glamour in every piece of clothing.

OPINION:

I don't know what to say.

|| DOLCE & GABBANA

Are we experiencing a 60s revival or something? After Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana gathered inspiration from a trip to Botswana, their spring collection looks like it?s been inspired by Yves Saint Laurent?s famous somewhat bohemian look four decades ago. There are formfitting snakeskin print ensembles, chiffon dresses striped in zebra, python-trimmed safari jackets...all shapely and able to make you feel like the hottest thing on Earth.

As always though, Dolce & Gabbana has applied their Italian aesthetic to make blatant fashion statements that just aren?t meant to be subtle or coy, but still have whiffs of dreamy imagination and irony. We love that.

OPINION:

I think this was my favorite collection for spring. The way the clothes were just able to work it by themselves was fantastic.

|| VERSACE

In a series of breezy dresses, Versace has presented the public with an array of bright or pastel colors in solid colors or prints. The texture and color play was done very well, with every swish of a model?s dress making you imagine the silk or satin brushing against your cheek. There were also some feminine twists on the work suit, a particular good-looking one with a coy neckline, an ivory skirt, and marvelous white sandals. All in all, a very representative of spring and a very marketable collection from Versace this year.

OPINION:

I?ve always liked Versace. The name sounds nice and Versace designs for the men, so if you?re looking for a date, go out and get one of Donatella?s marvelous designs.

Otherwise, my mom?s friend?s daughter (her mother is the secretary to the mayor of Taipei and her dad is the vice-president of a hospital) actually had a pair of Versace sunglasses on that she told me were thirty-five hundred dollars Taiwanese yuan, or seventy dollars American.

She is eight years old. This is very saddening for me.

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