Today was s**t, tonight was s**t, I am s**t, and I am a failure as a human being and feel like I should walk off a cliff or something. I feel like dying and hate my existence on this planet. No one will ever read any of this because everyone I know and love either has forgotten my heart is still beating or has decided I am just worthless and moved on. I am a failure as a friend, I am a failure as a wife, I am a failure as a mother, and a human being. I am just nothing. I am only writing this down because if I don't I think will ....I don't know anymore. I just don't know, who is this helping? I am so depressed that I am basically talking to myself. Therapists say it helps to write it down and let it go. But It feels like I am talking to myself or some imaginary person that somehow cares how I feel. I don't feel better I just feel crazy. God I wish I could scream, but even the sound of me crying silently to myself, by myself, will wake the baby. I don't know what to do anymore.
Nymphaea Angelique Community Member 
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