I had with the world. Its nothing bad but I always wanted to do something that isn't me. Like spending the whole night watching talking about things that doesn't involved people trying to exposed an idea nor a fact that I had to hear over and over. I find myself finding these people but I do ask myself if the idea of people wanting to know more and more what if the idea is not knowing then knowing ?
I have a hard time believing people when they speak of stories but somehow I find it boring to know something about a person. I been sick lately it's something I ate but I can't tell if it is something I ate nor it's all in my head. I heard someone talking about men getting periods but then I got lost in my own thoughts. Is it possible ? Slowly I didn't really care much even I ask silly request. I do wonder if such a person would hug me in real life but she does exist that's what funny about it. I don't seem to understand why users hate her so much ? It's not her fault her design is made that way but it does sicken me because of this issue.
Because of this issue with her the fanbase made me sick to my stomach even with design for Spanishloid. Does everything has to be anime like ? I don't seem to understand why people are like this but I keep forgetting to clean my room.
Pink my monitor turn pink. I kind of wanted to cry as its an old monitor and I had it for five years already maybe four well this desktop I had it for that long. I think I should get new computer but all my memories and fun is in this computer reason why I'm a PC. . . inside joke ha ha. Sorry for the bad jokes but I been down lately. It been raining but then stop. I don't know why I love the rain so much but I notices I haven't had a long walk beside that time I was walking at an old neighborhood. That place really pissed me off thinking about it. I kind of wanted to cry because I'm that weak back then and still am today. When I was at this park that morning I sat on the swings where I used to go when I'm upset and just keep swinging. In that same place I met an old face but remembering that person upset me sometimes. I kind of do hate the person I am today but I really hate the person I was back then even back then I keep getting bullied and I'm too scared to standup against them. I did once and I believe it was the braves thing I did but doing such thing just made my feet terrible in fear. I don't seem to understand why but I hate thinking back in some of the moment I had were great.
Oh~ I drew story board the other day. I find it funny but stupid at the sametime. I know I could draw but everytime I draw for someone they get upset about it even if it looks good but I guess it what I get for trying too hard.
Do you know how it feel to be hurt ? Sorry I know it's a stupid question but I feel it over flowing and I start to shiver when it happen. Normally it's because I'm shock nor given the cold shoulder.
I try too hard the other day to please someone.
I was playing dead island and I kind of hate it. Not because of the gun issue but it's how annoying the game is really. I'm a fan of survival horror and role playing games but mixing the two just didn't cut it. Matter of fact I think that what killed it and the characters in the game were okay just the whole zombies I keep facing and life bar annoyed me to death. I pick xian mei because she has lower health then the other mean she lack on something she could make it up with something else and I was right. Her stamina bar is bit longer then the others but also I like bring a knife in a gun fight. Guns are for pussies my friend.
It fun and all just annoying but it's hard to explain what I mean mostly everything is over night and I find it hard to believe it happen overnight and without night and day system it hard to tell if the day pass or what ? Well that is just me really but I don't think it matter.
I did replace my old monitor but it still feels odd because this one is a flat screen I never used such tech before. Sorry but I'm odd like that matter of fact I don't know what should I do with the old one. I know what the problem but I don't think I could do anything beside throw it away as it gone bad. It's not a connection problem because it been running great so I know for a fact it going bad and dead. Sorry but I do believe what my friend said about me that I should get laid. I think that person is right because well. . . I kind of am a geek nor nerd but more geek then nerd. I'm not smart just very geekish. Is it bad to be a geek ? That remind me of someone I know back in high school but I don't think I should even think about that person because thinking about it now and then I should just leave my past be even with this person might exposed everything about me. It nothing bad really but I like having this much space between us really.
Before I go mindless and think about something else I had this dream that I was doing stand up. I know I ain't funny at all but I did remember someone told me I should be a comedian. I sometimes wish how my life would be if it turns out for the best beside being this mysterious person everyone is so obsession with and because this person is a mystery they just love the character of this person. Sorry but I sometimes feel that way when someone point that out too me. I maybe wrong but I do feel like I'm in odd yet weird drama cartoon show it funny because that how it kind of looks like now but I wish it wasn't that beside random and confusing yet oh wait moment.
~ayame
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