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Critique Me
Words that need critiques.
-Untitled-
Looking out the white framed window
Sat a girl with auburn hair and jade green eyes
With light freckles upon her pale white cheeks
And finger nails painted black as the water depths

In the distance she watched the sun set slowly
Time slowing down and the earth’s spin stopped
The wind blew violently against the screen
Blowing her hair out of her face
Twilight came and settled

Black fog rolled down from the sky in circles
Creating a portal that opened ever so slowly
Distance…white specs fell from this portal
Opened… a red circle white lightning strikes

These white specs grew bigger rapidly
Revealing gorgeous being with white feathered wings
Suddenly they were no longer gorgeous
And before her eyes they turned ugly

Red eyes and black hair with wings made of bones
Tails grew from them as they howled with a roar
Below them as they transformed opened another portal
Similar to the one above that they fell from

Within but a moment her eyes burned
And she screeched so loudly she thought someone would hear
Her eyes bled profusely and melted from her sockets
Bleeding upon her white lace dress as she laid there unmoving





Seperia
Community Member
Seperia
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