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Tiger strikes again!
Hey there friends. I know no one reads this. Especially since I never get on this account any more, I pretty much only get on Singing Bunny.
However, Tiger always has a special place in my heart. And I still draw her, not Bunny, when I doodle.
It's the hair ;D
s**t, I have a lot to update on for anyone who cares.
First of all, I have a Tumblr now. gemini-dragon.tumblr.com, for anyone who wants to stalk me or follow me or whatever. Not that I post deep personal s**t on there, but you get an idea of how liberal I really am. I just never realized it.
I now live in Chapel Hill with Kendall and Adam. But on the downside, I am jobless and can't seem to get one because of the ******** economy and because of the ******** school I was at last year.
Ugh, let me break Cherryville down for you:
Imagine, if you will, a small town. No, smaller than that. Smaller. Smaaaalller. There ya go, you have some idea of how important Cherryville is. Now imagine that small town is under a bubble. But not just any bubble. Imagine that the town is in a bubble that is practically impossible to burst. As in the odds are a trillion to one of being able to burst this bubble. And if you enter the bubble, you are always and forever an outsider. Because you've been painted orange with purple polka dots. And the people of this small, bubbled town? They don't really like outsiders. It messes with their way of life. So they shun you. Talk about you behind your back. Go around you and basically tell you that you can never fit in and will never be accepted. Oh, and remember that bubble? It doesn't let new ideas in either. Unwed mother? BLASPHEMOUS! Having sex outside of marriage? HOW DARE YOU! A black man as president? ABSURD! Homosexuals? I'd rather stab my eyes out.
That's what Cherryville is. A few gems: The kid who thought homosexuals should all be slaughtered. The kid who couldn't read Harry Potter or listen to rock music because it's Satanic. I had a third, but I just forgot it.
The kicker for me and when I began to realize I would never be accepted: When the teachers kept finding new areas to eat without telling me. The real kicker? When the kids got in an egg war because we weren't down there to supervise and the other teachers decided they would blame it on the gym teacher and did s**t to break it up. Oh, and then there was the time at the end of the year that four of the seven teachers in the eights grade shoved all the kids on the 3 of us left to go cut up fruit for the breakfast.
To give you an idea, one of the teachers on the other team apologized to me at the end of the year because of how I had been treated.
I am convinced that they talked bad about me to the kids, which considering I was already floundering, really undermined my authority.
The number of times I came home crying I can't even count.
Anyway. Needless to say, I got a s**t review because I was left floundering and basically kicked away whenever I tried to get help. Now, that isn't to say that it wasn't my fault. I admit I ******** up. However, the people that were rude and refused to help me unless I begged.
lasdjfladjsf
Ok, upsetting myself now and feel like I'm gonna cry. The fact that I haven't slept and don't think I can tonight (BRAIN Y U NO SHUT UP) isn't helping. I think I'll stay up all night just so I can be on a quasi normal sleep schedule.
So, what else can I write about that isn't bitching?
Ooh. So Kendall's trying to turn me into a gamer. I started with BioShock and sldfjalsdfjalsdjflasdfj I ******** LOVE IT. I plan to go to Anime USA in Arlington and I'm going as Brigid Tenenbaum from the game. I have the dress and everything. It's super exciting!
So, there are three days at the convention and I so far have a costume for two of them. I wanna be Tenenbaum and I wanna be Mario. Do you know how hard it is to find flipping overalls??? I mean, seriously! It shouldn't BE so hard. But they're not popular right now, so go figure.
Adam is a super in an opera. He's in Carmen.
Our mutual friend Emily B invited me n Kendall to go with her to Savannah for her spring break. Kendall is gonna go. I am not. I told him to take lots of pics and he was like I can't take pics of everything! I gave him a weird look and he alluded to having sex with people. Part of me was annoyed and thought, "Fine, I'll find a one night stand at the opera!" I doubt it, but the revenge things annoy me.
Sometimes, I think Kendall has his priorities wrong. Like, for example. His best friend is John. Now, I'm all for spending time with John and doing stuff with him online and whatever. However, it feels like when John wants to do something, Kendall will drop everything else because OMG JOHN IS READY. Whereas John doesn't do that for him. The other night, to show you, John was gonna get WoW again and Kendall was excited. He'd already told me that he was gonna play WoW with John and I was Ok with it. However, John ignored him all day and finally said he'd be ready at 7. Wanna know what time he was fully ready? Midnight. Kendall blew us off all ******** day, despite knowing that John was famous for doing s**t like this. And it always feels like he picks John over me. Not fair, I know, but if he was doing something with John it would be "Can I call you back?" (never did) whereas John would pause whatever he was doing to talk to his girlfriend.
Eh. Just an annoyance. I feel like I never see him because he comes home from work, checks Ponies, naps, gets up, plays WoW, has dinner, and goes back to bed before work starts.
We'll see how this year goes.
Anyway. I'm kinda done dreaming of Sean, who's the one I always was so cryptic about in previous entries. Don't get me wrong, I still and will always love the boy, but I'm done with pipe dreams about something wonderful coming along and us living happily ever after.
SPEAKING OF.
Jarrett and I sorta talk again. He's engaged to the girl he was dating before he dated me. Ha, funny (but not) thought that if I were to be engaged with the person I was with before him, it would be Sean.
I enjoy reflecting back on those years, the end of high school. The s**t that I did and the people I felt for emotionally. Of them, Sean is the only one I still talk to. Mostly.
I mean, let me think. At the height of the Amy drama, there was Sean, Adam, Daniel, William. I feel like I'm forgetting someone, but eh. Adam annoys the hell out of me now, but he did when I still felt for him. I think the moment came that I stopped when we were talking on the phone and he was trying to guilt me into something, though I forget what it was. That's when I realized I hated that. I still talk to him sometimes, but despite being told that it makes me uncomfortable, he still says things like "I've always loved you" and the like. I don't really know what happened with Daniel and William.
Funny how I can look back at all of these and remember the feelings so clearly.
I still wonder what could happen if. That if. With a couple of people. Or a few. Whatever.
Oh, by the way, I'm definitely a feminist at this point. You'll see that with my quotey quote which I just decided on this minute.
ERM.
I want to have a photo shoot with Kat. When we did that last, it was so much fun.
Ok guys, the internet is distracting me. Loves.
Quote: "Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
Cause it's okay to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
Cause you think being a girl is degrading"
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