I well I guess I can't seem to change the name of my journal but its gonna be just me writing about how I feel at the moment.
So, I have a ton of s**t going on in my life. I have had to deal with demons from the past lately. More that one actually. I had to talk to my father who I have spoke to in about 3 years when he helped me move out of my mother house. It was kinda difficult considering I barely know him anymore. He is going through a difficult time as well, that why I even bothered to call him in the first place.
The second was I had to deal with someone from my past who would be better off forgotten. I don't really want to get into it. Lets just say nothing good came from dealing with it. Just more pain. From this expirence I have learn something that is really important though. No matter what happens, its not your fault, especially if you have no control over the situation. Its not worth beating yourself up over becuase nothing is going to change what happen and nothing is going to take away the pain caused from it. Best just to move on and forget about it.
People like that are not worth wasting your breath and tears over. They will get what they deserve in the end.
The worst thing that came out of this whole situation was that I feel like I lost an amazing friend over it. They were there for me through the whole thing, but because of it I pushed them away. I feel as though I have lost them and I never meant for any of that to happen. I feel selfish for pulling them into my personal problem. It wasn't the right thing for me to do. I feel terrible for all of it. I put everything out there and I feel like it was all for nothing. They say that time heals everything, I hope they are right. I would hurt so much to lose such an amazing person over this.
Inside I am trying to hold myself together, but I feel like I am coming apart and I don't know how to fix everything. I just wish this pain would subside.
I think I'm done complaining for the night
Sage
 SageBunny · Mon Aug 23, 2010 @ 04:31am · 0 Comments |
