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I hate it.
The sulfur in me.
If I even try,
My body becomes a volcano of sorts
Erupting and bursting, bubbling inside
Like a death watch, threatening to sound.
I don't want the sulfur
but I don't know how to purify it
and each time I let it happen.
I let it happen.
Over and over and over again.
When it's over I think,
Maybe I'm better off with old flames.
...
But I'm not.

I refuse to sleep tonight. This is my second night of crying at the same time of the night. I have a paper due tomorrow, err today... but truthfully and honestly I wouldn't have been able to do it even over break. Everytime I try to focus or relax, my thoughts go back to my sadness. It's so strong.

I am watching Practical Magic, one of my favorite movies. It's helping me come up with other things to think about, like the sisterhood. This movie makes me cry, but happier tears than I have known. I love this movie so much. It reminds me of what we need. Candles. I need to make my wand but I'm going back in a week so I can do it then. I have time. My outfit I need to do last minute. That's part of my style and prolly the only time I'll be able to focus entirely on just the project.

I'm a little scared about volleyball. I know I'm unstable right now... I might just watch the practice, I dunno. I'll try to work on this paper, maybe get a rough done then talk to the teacher... THIS IS TOO HARD -sobs- Guys, I'm really hurting. Maybe Christy, you can come over this weekend? Or Friday? Please? -sobs- I'm so sad and I keep crying.