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Of all of my classes so far, Spanish, Biology, Health, none have proven to be difficult. I know all of the answers to every question, never have to study for any of the tests, get done with everything very quickly and do all of this and more with little to no effort on my part. I am constantly getting extra credit for going "above and beyond" but in reality im not even trying that hard. These are the classes that are supposed to be extremely hard, but to me everything comes easy. I know I shouldn't be complaining, and in all actuality I'm really not trying to, but it really does make one feel a bit alien. I don't want to be "that kid" that is always up the teacher's a**, raising their hand, knowing everything in that most annoying way, but I don't want to slack off on purpose and end up getting REALLY shitty grades. emo So I just sit there in class and I don't talk much to the teachers, and I don't volunteer or raise my hand. If a teacher calls on me I will answer the question, and I will answer it correctly, but I won't be the one to initiate my own answer.
However this remedy was short lived, (aren't they always) and by now all of my teachers have figured out that I am the "smart kid" and so now begins the vicious circle of getting called on, getting praised, and getting envied, and then feeling like the world's biggest a*****e because the same things that are so out of reach for others come so easy to me, and allways have. xd Just the other day I got OVER 100% on a MAJOR project that I in fact waited until the last minute to do. sweatdrop While every one else, who did NOT procrastinate, were lucky to even get an A minus. I feel so guilty when people ask to see my homework or my projects and they always look twice as good as everyone else's. I always feel like I am the one rubbing it in their face. I'M SORRY THAT I DON'T DO THINGS HALF-ASSED JUST SO I CAN BE ON THE SAME PAGE AS EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!!! stressed
My lowest grade right now is 100%, and i would like to say that I am proud of myself, but then again, I really haven't done much. Sometimes I just wished people knew that I wasn't perfect, that I CAN'T do everything perfect, and there are some things out there that DO NOT come easy to me at all. Maybe then I wouldn't feel like such a b***h for being outstanding at these things.