|
|
|
Each and every time I've tried to call, she's always had too much damned homework, or she's too tired. Why is it, that when the only thing you need to do is call and say, "Hey, how ya' doin'," to make you feel better, you can't do? And when you finally get that chance, you can't? What ******** God, or spirit, or whatever damned force there is is against me?! Why the hell does it feel like I'm being targeted?! Seriously. EVERY God damned time I get my hopes up about ANYTHING.. ANYTHING and it's taken away, just as it touches my ******** fingertips? I thought maybe, just maybe, I might be able to live with my past, but it keeps coming back to haunt me.
My mom, being an alchoholic/cocaine addict.. My dad, being an alchoholic, who abuse(d?) my mom.. My grandmother, an ex-alchoholic, who I suspect is getting back into the habbit.. My oldest aunt, a cocaine addict/alchoholic.. My little brother dying when he was four months old, and I was two-and-a-half.. Constantly moving around.. Depression.. I suppose attempting suicide three or four times counts, too.
We're not tight for money, so that's not a problem. But everything in general.. Top it off with love problems, as previously mentioned. Of course, she has to be in love with a spirit that's in her head. Yeah, I've sensed him a couple times. Especially the one time we did the casting circle at my aunts', but, still.. It hurts like hell when she mentions him.
It's like a knife through the heart, When it all comes apart. It's like someone takes a pin to your balloon. --'Why They Call It Falling', Lee Ann Womack (Country Music).
Wow, she really hit it, didn't she?
-Sighs- Wow, what a rant. But still.. I feel-- nay.. I want to cry.. Just to get it all out. But why are there no tears? Why do they refuse to even come to my eyes?
-------------------------A couple hours later.-------
Well, now that I've calmed down, and I've just recieved a MASS friggin' donation from Mike, I'm going to go. XD WHEE! >.> <.< Right, then.. -Vanish.-
Dillusioned Fantasies · Sun Nov 13, 2005 @ 06:19am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|