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I'm scared. You're disappointed in me. For running? Why don't you just suck it up and deal with yourself? You don't have to be all "drama whore". My heart hurts. My pulse speeds up. My hands hurt and tremble. I don't want to post. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What can I say? What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? I'm terrified and I'm not sure why, and that scares me even more. I've been here for almost four years--I thought I had things figured out--and I don't. Things I know--thought I knew--are shattered, false. I try to make things better and only make them worse. Oh god. I'm scared. I can't do this. I can't hold myself together and suck it up and deal with it *I'M SORRY* i'm scared.

Posted by: Jasper Riddle Sun Jan 25, 2009 @ 03:04am

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Indigo Dagger
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Commented on: Sun Jan 25, 2009 @ 03:22am


	I'll always be here for you and love you, Jasp. crying If you still want to talk, please let me know where I can keep in touch.

Commented on: Sun Jan 25, 2009 @ 04:01am


	ilu jasp I know what it feels like to be freaking out with no definable cause. Do what you need to to work things out for yourself, but remember that we're always here if you want to chat, eh? I hope everything starts to work out better for you soon. hugs Keep in touch when you can, ok? heart

~Seishin~
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tasteslikecanadian
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Commented on: Sun Jan 25, 2009 @ 06:17pm


	I'm sorry I wasn't online to talk when you were feeling like this last night. I know you can do it. Sometimes taking a break and running for a bit is what you need to do to understand that it really isn't the solution. I want you to do what makes you happy. I want you to feel safe both on and offline. I want you to keep steering, even while you run. I want you to know that I care, and that I'm here to listen if you ever need to talk. I know where my boundary is, and I know where yours is now too. I'm not trying to push you to talk about more than you feel you can. I'm just trying to be here for you. Even if you are taking a break, I'm PMing you my cell number. I screen my calls. Leave a message. I will call you back.

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