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Recently, I've been looking at quite a few schools to transfer to. Well, not just recently, I've been looking for almost a year now. I have my choices narrowed down to a school in california and a school in new york. All that's left is which one accepts me. I've also been thinking about how much I hate my current circumstance. My best friend is lousy at best, my other friends only use me for their own gain. I have only one person to talk to really and they're moving to new york. My parents are making my life miserable, not because of what they're doing, but because I can't tell them anything about me and when I do, I'll be disowned, hated, etc.
So, all that as foundation, I thought, why not just stay where I go to school? Why not just pack up, leave everything behind me and move, never look back, never return. It wouldn't be too bad. I could make new friends, have people that like me for who I am rather than who they've built me to be in their own mind. I mean, I know it won't solve every problem, I know that people out there will ******** up just as much as people here do. I know that there will be some lousy people there, but nothing's going my way where I am now. Falling off the face of the planet might not be too bad of an idea. I wouldn't have to deal with any of this s**t ever again. I genuinely think that's what I'm going to do. Get a new life... I'm young enough that it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I don't have any real commitments to the government or family... that would be nice.
That in mind, it occured to me last night that my life could be separated into chapters. My young age, when my parents were together and everything was great and unmemorable. The not-so-young age when my parents got divorced and my mom married my stepfather and I was all into church and junk (I met my best friend here). The next chapter wherein I grew away from the church and was questioning my heterosexuality.The most recent chapter wherein I've started to become mature, I've faced the truth and know that I am gay... and soon to be the next chapter wherein I separate all ties to previous chapters, friends, family, etc and begin a new story dictated how I want.
 haruki_jitsunin · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 11:18pm · 0 Comments |
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