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Oh, Syn-chan, I'm so unbelievably happy! ^.^
Oh, really? Why Ali-chan? Has your problem gotten fixed?
No...but I don't care about that now! It was a different problem that just got miraculously fixed. Just another of the gazillion proofs that there is somebody up there watching out for me. wink
Oh, yes, you were really, really upset last night...it scared me, Ali-chan. You stayed up all night and then you...you actually cried, and then you wrote in your notebook for what seemed like ages. You barely got any sleep!
Syn-chan, you'll never let me keep any secrets, will you? *sigh*
Well, it worried me. So what was that all about?
I'm still not totally sure. All I know is that...well...it was another problem caused by the same person. But this problem was so much worse. It just shocked me to no end, and...I felt this overwhelming feeling that made me feel like the world was over. I mean, I know I can be a bit dramatic but this was a little scary.
What kind of feeling? confused
Well, eventually I figured it out. It was betrayal. I felt totally and utterly betrayed. But I'm not sure why...the person didn't really do anything to betray me...I guess my perception, my ideal of them was betrayed. Which was really my fault but I still felt like crap.
And how did that fix itself? Did you just readjust your perception?
No...really half of the thing that really bothered me was that I felt like I should say something, say my real opinion...but as usual, I was afraid it would offend them and make me seem stuck-up or something. However, unlike usual, I felt like if I didn't say something this time it would be all my fault when something happened, something that I just couldn't bear thinking about because I felt like it would betray me or something.
...This is really confusing Ali-chan. Maybe it would help if you told us the story...
No, it's nobody else's business. Besides, it's all over now. The thing isn't going to happen, thanks to chance...or was it chance? Anyway, I still feel guilty because I never told them how I felt.
Aw...you'll get better, Ali-chan.
Nah, I dunno...anyways, it's all over now, so I feel great despite that little bit of guilt. Anyway, this journal sucked but I have to do something so if you'll excuse me...
*rolls eyes* Whatever you say, Ali-chan. ^.^
 LadyAlisyn · Sat Jun 21, 2008 @ 05:23am · 1 Comments |
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