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I found this in my past journal :]
Date: 11/15/07
Time: I have no clue -.-
Right now...you could say I'm feeling mixed emotions. I mean judged on what happen yesterday....hmmmm....I remember everything so clearly, it's scary... Then I remember what he said after I hung up and then he called back...
"Because I need you in my life." "I'm sorry...for everything..""I feel horrible" "The disappointment in your voice." "I can't begin to say how horrible I feel"
God, these are one of the things I remember most throughout the entire conversation. I HATE when things like this happen because I never am able to withstand all the pain that resigns in my heart. "No I dont." "What are you talking about, of course you have a choice." "NO i dont." "Why do you say that...?" "Because I need you in my life."
When he said that tears started to form. I simply couldnt help it. I love him more and more everyday and think about how it would feel if all that suddenly ended. I'm always afraid of losing my sweetheart on man occasions. But right now...it REALLY feels like I'm losing him.
The surprising thing is I really dont remember what happened. At least...NOT EVERYTHING. I remember some of it. When I found this and read it over. Where I quoted what he said I remembered what his voice sounded like at the time. It was so......so saddened....so...*sigh*
Well that was a long time ago, as much as we went through back then...and what we're going through now. I know everything will be alright. It always is.
[No i'm not having issues, we're just in some heavy s**t atm, not relationship wise just other stuffs smile ]
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