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I hate banks. One of these days I'm going to go down to that bank and say, "hey, you fellas need to quit being so darned difficult". That'll be the exact moment that the teller pushes that little red button under the desk. I've always wondered what that silly little button is for. Someone once told me this ridiculous lie about it being some secret, silent alarm. "Yeah right", I said in my bestest Kermit the frog voice. I don't think he noticed that I was doing impressions because he kept going on and on about that stupid alarm thingy. I wasn't really listening but I interjected with, "why would they make an alarm no one can hear?" anyways. That time I tried doing a Chuck Norris voice but it came out all wrong. I was so upset that I ran off crying. Needless to say, I didn't get the job that I was there interviewing for. Anyway, back to the bank story. I imagine that a ceiling tile would open up and ninjas would drop out when that plucky bank teller pushes the button. I'd make quick work of those ninjas and then, wiping the blood from my lip, I would look back at the teller and say something really cool, like "Is that the best you can do" or "There can be only one". Then he'd push that infernal, dang-blasted button again. Jeeze, I hate that crazy button! This time my evil twin would appear in a puff of purple smoke. "At last we meet," he'd say. I'd try to come up with some clever remark about me turning him into meat but it'd come out all wrong. We'd probably all have a good laugh and forget about our differences and everyone would become friends. That'll be a good day.