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It's summer 2003. I'm writing this on a piece of a newspaper. I have forgotten was day it is. Maybe Sunday, because I hear the bells of the church. I'm sad and angry. Not depressed, not happy, not lonely. I'm sitting in my room and let darkness surround me. I feel hurt by my friends. The weather outside is too nice to sit in my room, but I don't even notice it.

What happened? They lied to me. They told a terrible lie. I don't think I can ever forgive them. I hate them! What's the point...

Then my diary stopped. I never finished the sentence, but I know what I wanted to write. What's the point of lying? I'm staring at my diary. It's old, was almost burned to ash once. All my bad experiences are written in it. And ofcourse that lie. When I read it, I realize that hate isn't forever. I forgave them.

Lying. Why do people lie? Ofcourse, to get succes, to avoid punishment for something, etc. etc.. Everyone lies. Even I do. I have lived a lie for a very long time. To the ones who know about it, I hope they'll forgive me. Somehow I'm sure of that. But okay...

They say that people who have a higher IQ can lie better. I think that's pretty true. Even the politics lie. I hear them lie everyday. But how can we lie? Isn't there a voice in our head that tells us not to lie? Ofcourse there is. But we ignore it. We lock it up, deep in our mind. Why? Why not listen to that voice? Why not stop lying?

And yes, there are people who lie almost never. Or never at all. Why not see them as an example? Lies only hurt others. You think you can get away from punishment or get succes, but everything will break in the end. Others will find out anyway.

It's Tuesday 4 December 2006. I just made the worst mistake of my life. This mistake that can't be forgiven. This wound that can't be healed. I wish I could just disappear. I wish I could die. The mistake? A lie. One simple lie that became the worst of my life. I won't write it down, I don't want to remember. I just want to disappear. I have become nothing.
I stare outside. It's raining and it makes me want to play with it. I want to be happy again. I want to dance again. But I can't. I never knew my life could be destroyed...
The lie hid all my feelings. That's what lies can do to you. Just realize that.