Things happened today. That's pretty much all I can say. I cried alot. I stressed and worried. And I still am stressed and worried. I need a release... wut to do... wut to do...
Well, I guess I can say some of it, although not in detail, because Im not to sure how much I am permited to reveal. It's not about me, so I don't know what I can say. Someone I really care about contimplated suicide again, and was not going to tell me and just do it after spending "one last day" having fun. The person didn't go through with it, told me and I cried. I blame myself a bit too, but that's beside the point. It sucks when people you care about are so self destructive. Especially when you are so close to them that it would completely alter reality as you know it...
I had some pretty messed up dreams last night too. One involved me and my suicidal friend watching the stars and them shifting and moving around and that being natural, then my friend dissappearing into thin air, and the stars falling then exploding. I think I may be prescient... Others were like me being a police officer (my Italian grandmother told me she thought I would look good as one.. yeah right...) and some drug addict using a fake ID to get into a Ruckers kinda arcade place... i dont get it either. Then there was some sort of Titan A.E/Starship Troopers/Starcraft thing where I was sucked into this alien mothership... oh so weird! It kinda reminded me of the Flood from Halo as well...
Other than all that sh!t, well the day had the potential to be awesome. It just wasnt. It should have been. I got to visit with my other grandparents, see my sister who moved out over the summer who I missed alot and go to a play. Im a drama freak, so that should have made my day great. Wrong. Nothing could make up for the thought that I could have lost one of the most important people in the world to me. I don't understand it. Not to mention a chronic migrane and I've been getting dizzy spells lately... oh well. Life will continue. At least I get to do some shopping tomorrow to make up for it all.
(~Random song lyrics~)
The stars are out tonight, And your the brightest one shining in my sky. It's like every wish I ever made came true, waking up and lying next to yooou (~End~)
 Aria Draonacu · Thu Oct 14, 2004 @ 07:38am · 0 Comments |
