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Another Writing Post, originally for a forum topic I made, but that seems to be dead... ( Not that my journal is any more alive.)

I fastened the fine, bone knife to the end of the long, sturdy, nearly straight stick and walked off into the woods. A rustling noise came to my ear. I hunched over, much like a wolf stalking its prey, unmoving, silent. I looked to my left. On the other side of the dirt path dividing the two sides of the forest, a figure was emerging from a large bush. A wild boar had been happily exploring the jungle, and jotted through the bush. If the boar had looked up and noticed me there, it would have run away, and might have lived. But in the instant the whole boar was out of the bush, my hand thrust forward, launching the spear straight through the boar's shoulder. A final cry from the boar, and down it went, with a thump as it hit the ground. Carefully, slowly, I stalked over to the boar. I inspected my kill carefully before removing the spear and slinging the boar over my shoulder. I walked back out of the woods to the small, sandy beach on the outer edge of the island. I skinned the boar and cleaned up the meat. I took this boar meat to a wooden table I had crafted, and chopped it into slabs. I lit the fire under my cooking pot, threw some meat in, and waited.

During this time I was waiting, something happened. Something that changed my life forever. Out on the horizon, I saw a ship that seemed to be heading towards the island I was sitting on. "Must be passing by," I thought. What use would they have at this little island? I heard trampling noises coming from the direction opposite the ocean. I looked over, and saw dozens of birds rushing out of the treetops. On ground level, a couple squirrels and a panther came hurriedly running out of the woods. Following the panther and the squirrels, were four panther cubs, some tigers, at least a dozen monkeys, twice as many apes and gorillas, and uncountable amounts of chickens, geese, turkey, pigs, and bears. Not to mention the number of birds flying from the roof of the forest had doubled at least ten times. Then I saw the cause of this commotion. In the distance, far off in the forest, smoke rose into the air. The ancient mountain had turned red with a hot, fiery liquid. Ash was thrown from the mountain in all directions, like a sprinkler shooting water about your yard. I rose, confused, frightened. I looked back over the ocean. The ship was nearing, only a few miles away. It was heading straight in my direction. I took my spear and ditched my campsite to run closer to the edge of the water. The many aminals running for their lives from the green forest had acted similarly; leaving their caves and logs, or their nests, dropping all activities, and fleeing toward the water on the opposite side of the island as the volcano. Luckily, they were too scared to notice me standing there, spear in hand.


I think the first sentence is kind of run-on. Maybe I don't nead the ''nearly straight'' part? I dunno, it just sounds kinda weird to me.