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Today, my Jane Austen Action Figure has come in the mail from eBay. It is an exciting moment in my sad little existance and pictures of this amazing piece of plastic will soon be uploaded. For those of you wondering, is the packaging removed the answer is Nay. I will not remove it, at least for now, because it is a great box with quotes, little tidbits and best of all it says "JANE AUSTEN ACTION FIGURE" on it. I'm off to go take some snapshots and hold it some more.

Yours Affectionately,
Capt. George

To set the scene:
The “roof” man (For story purposes ‘Dumbkopf’ note: dumbkopf means stupidhead in german) entered the main foyer of the anthropophagi’s cave. It was there that he met with his friends, beautifully clad in festive Scottish attire, with extravagantly-cut and tailored holes for his eyes and mouth.

The anthropophagi led Dumbkopf to another one of his dear guests, Mr. Collins, to introduce them. Mr. Collins had just entered the wonderfully lit chamber, and their eyes met in wedlock. Suddenly, Collins strides to Dumbkopf, full of ardour, and proclaimed his newfound love for the dashing man.
“Nothing remains but for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection.”
“Roof!” was his candid response. Collins eyes widened in complete disbelief, but he quickly and ever-so-suavely recovered himself.
“I am therefore, by no means, discouraged by what you have just said; and shall hope to lead you to the alter ere long.”
At that exact moment, an unearthly figure caught his eye. Linda gracefully approached the center of the room, with her beautifully radiant undulating haunches. As she majestically waddled toward the food, Mr. Collins was drawn to her frivolous soul and wonderfully pneumatic presence. Sultrily, Linda pulled Mr. Collins aside and began to whisper in his ear when they were so rudely interrupted by a tall strange man.
“What macaroons? I thought they were forbidden here.” It was then that Linda shoved Mr. Collins out of the way and proclaimed that she loved macaroons. She and Mr. Rank then walked off into the glory of a setting sun, a violin faintly heard in the distance.
The sound of hooves is then heard as Mr. Darcy appears on his gallant black horse. He dismounts his horse and strides over to his long-time rival, Mr. Rochester. He is startled by the overwhelming beauty of the leashed creature at his side.
He whispers to himself a little too loudly, “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Rochester yanks Bertha to his side, “The glamour of inexperience is over your eyes, and you see it through a charmed medium.”
Darcy and Rochester break out in mortal combat. Rochester somehow is able to pin Darcy down with his good arm as he slowly waves his incinerated arm towards Darcy’s eyeball.
Rochester chants, “Like it if you can, like it if you dare.”
Then, right in the midst of combat, a proclamation to have a solidarity service came from the corner where the anthropophagi stood. The voice sounded desperate for the fighting to be over. Somewhere, someone began to sing:


It was Bertha that interrupts the point of atonement to pour lighter fluid she had found onto Rochester. Flames ignite, and our ball comes to an end.

Chapter One- The Pre-Implosion
What is an implosion? It is in fact just the opposite of an explosion. We all know the variety of ways an explosion can be created, so what creates an implosion? It might be created by anything including a possible mix of unknown chemicals, confrontation of energies, or odd happenings in the biological setting.

Chapter Two- The Implosion
So once this implosion occurs, what I believe to happen is this: a rift in the space time continuum would be created. It would mean something like a black hole would occur on our Earth sucking all life and matter into it and off into another dimension.

Chapter Three- Life in a Vortex
Once sucked inside a vortex, the approximate life span is ten minutes since the air from the atmosphere is sucked in right along with you. But due to dissipation, it would not last long enough for you to lead a life in space. In ten minutes time you would have to just float around in space until you asphyxiate.

Chapter Four- Life After a Vortex
You are dead.

Chapter Five- Thoughts on a Vortex
“I think a vortex would be a great experience. Nice way to go out in-style. I kind of stinks how you die but what can you do? George is a true scientist. I fully support this theory.” -Shannon Morgan

“A rare and brilliant gem, this book truly is an asset to any scientist today. It provides a completely new and interesting take on the classic vortex theory. Thoroughly supported with evidence and written in a precisely exquisite manner, George’s works are a wonderful addition to anyone’s personal library.” -Angela Koeth

“A fresh and new opening to another realm of life. This rare discovery will open your mind and release all doubts. Once in place, attached to your mind, you will be in awe and amazement of what reality and truth has become. –L. B.

“Simply astounding! George’s knowledge of the subject of vortexes is like the vortex itself, endless and expansive. This paper is an asset to any classroom or learning environment.” -Krissy Chmiel

Looking back on some of my old post I just realized how much of a n00b I was when I joined Gaia. I was not literate at all, so I apologize if you had to read my gibberish.

So, in case you were under a rock the past 80 days I've been counting down to the day that Colm Wilkinson came. This entry is for all of you who couldn't go so you can see what you missed. That is why I am going to go into some detail.

Chi and I went with my aunt to the show. We had seats that were decent. My only complaint was that we were so far away from the stage but we could still see fine. When the lights dimmed down, out he walked from the doors we were sitting by. I was at one point 4 seats away from him. He was wearing the wrong suit for Phantom (He told us this later) but had the cape and a lantern. As soon as he walked on stage he turned around real quick and walked back off. At that point everyone was clapping (including me) to whatever he did. Almost everyone laughed as he yelled from offstage "I'm coming back!" Anyways, he came back with a microphone minus the lantern and cape. He sang Phantom and then asked where people were from. Someone actually said they came from Sydney. Another person yelled out Ireland (If you don't know that is where he's from) but when he asked where no one said anything. Through this I'm told I was shaking. I didn't realize it was bad to the point they could feel me doing it, I actually didn't think it was that bad. He sang some more songs. (Gah, I can't remember) I do remember that he did some Irish drinking songs and told some jokes and for the sake off space I won't put them here because they are somewhat long. After a few more songs he took a break and we came back to hear him open to Man of la Mancha. Through the whole thing me and Chi were nudging each other but at this point I think it got violent. He did both songs from Stage Heroes and did one from South Pacific. He also said something about Les Mis so people started freaking out but we knew he would do that last so we knew it was Empty Chairs at Empty Tables (which it was). He sang some more songs then decided to end it, people started to groan so he said he couldn't stay all night and we all said he could. (Mind you, this was a mass group of huge fans for the most part, we heard people mentioning rushing the stage) I was all excited because it was his last song and it would have to be Bring Him Home, but it wasn't. He finished the song and we all stood and clapped. He came out again and started to sing, it wasn't Bring Him Home again. We stood there clapping again saying we wouldn't leave until he sang that and I was serious. He finally came out again wear the jacket from Les Mis and everyone went crazy cause he was finally going to sing Bring Him Home. He mentioned the show that mocked the song and actually sang some of the lyrics. He finally got around to singing it and it was beautiful.

Here is the best part of the story, after the show we wanted him to sigh this picture of him from 1987 when he was doing Les Mis and also get a picture with him. We get in this huge line and wait for 20 minutes. We amused ourselves by singing songs and just talking about stuff. We finally got up there and said hi. He signed the pictures and let us get a picture with him. I stood next to him for about 30 seconds! (It gets even better) After we were done he brushes his hand on my arm! I was about to explode! I didn't say anything except agree with Chi when she told him how great Bring Him Home was. We were about 20 feet away when I said in a load whisper "He touched my arm!" When we got outside Chi took a picture of the arm and so maybe she'll post it and the picture of us with him if it comes out.

That was the best night of my life even though I seriously think we scared him. I bet you're extremely sad you didn't go now so I'll stop.

So my awesome skills in needlepointing have created and finished my latest work. Below are some pictures of it framed. It is going in my bedroom so hopefully it will match everything. The only complaint about it is that the matting is too much. I told them I wanted it down to 2 instead of 3 inches but I was told no.

My orchestra teacher had a picnic type of thing at her house with her children. Her two sons were there. Joe is 10 and James is 5. This little kid was insane. We were playing vollyball so he grabs a frisbee and starts chasing me with it. It was funny to see this kid chasing me so I started to stand there and laugh, so he chucks it at me. I start to run so he does it again a couple more times. Later on my friend gave him his ball if he would chase me with a broom so I ran and hid behind some seniors. It may seem rediculous but I am seriously afraid of this kid. He may be the son of satin.

I dreamt last night that HG was coming to the area for some sort of performance. He was going to stay at my house for some reason and I made the comment sometime in my dream about raping him, I think I was joking though. Anyways, he sang his song and walked offstage and I think my aunt was stalking him. Yura tried to get in but she didn't have a ticket. Bunny said I was a loser then I woke up.

Well, I have just finished 2 projects. One is worth 200 points in LA and the other is 20% of my grade in Science. And you know what? They are both due tomorrow. Isn't procrastination great!