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So, it's been almost a year, and... yeah. I'm lazy.
Even thou I was against of going to a therapist, lately I've been feeling really, really down.
Boring life would be the main reason. But it's getting out of hand. So much so, that I find myself skipping school more than I ever have. And I'm not the only one who's noticed this.
My parents think I'm using drugs, but I don't. What saddens me is the fact that I don't give a damn what others think.
My friends, on the ohter hand, just think... Hmm. What do they think about my current condition? They sure as hell have no idea that I'm down. They have just noticed that I'm not into school right now. I'm not sure if it's due to my acting skills or what, but it works for me.
The last thing I want is my friends trying to cheer me up. That just annoys the hell out of me. I'm grumpy, and I'd rather find a way to get rid of them than suffer from their 'encouragement' -thingies. (These events usually happen with my money involved, which is not nice.)
I'm far more optimistic than my friends together, so...
Anyways, if I do get a therapist, I'm sure things'll turn out interesting. mrgreen
Also, I think I'm enjoying this in a more sadistic and twisted way than I should. Nihihi.
 Ratu · Wed Nov 23, 2005 @ 04:21pm · 0 Comments |
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The most frightening holiday of the year |
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Oh dear. It's here. The Christmas.
This is where I'm supposed to scream for help and beg the death to take me. But alas, I do not scream for help nor do I beg.
So it's completely useless for me to do that.
Gods I hate this time of the year. Sure, it's nice to have some free-time and the presents are allways nice, but I HATE everything else with the fire of the million suns.
It's all for Jesus anyway. The Christmas stuff I mean.
I can't stand all those stupid hymns. And I know God must be going crazy because of them.
Seriously. Hearing those same hymns every damn year is more than enough to make you go crazy. No wonder people die so often.
Plus, everyone acts like they're living in a la-la land. stressed
Right. Time to cool off. Just some smut reading and I'll be fine. Yeeesss. Smut. Mmm. heart
( Pretend you didn't just read that. It will be easier and less-disturbing for everyone. )
Ratu · Thu Dec 23, 2004 @ 09:12pm · 0 Comments |
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Gods. Haven't been in here for two months or so.
crying
It's not my faaaauuuult. I swear.
It's my inner selves that have been a real bitches and making me stay away from here.
Now there's a real problem.
Past these two months I have been growing two other personalities within my mind. It's gonna be a fiasco. sweatdrop
I swear, if I won't get rid of them soon I'm gonna suffer a lot.
People, I would like you to meet two new persons;
My Inner Self and Cheer Strifer.
Now, while Cheer Strifer has a loud-mouthed, witty personality, My Inner Self is as sweet and holy and wise as Mother Theresa.
And Cheer and My Inner Self... they do not get along.
On top of that, I am a personality on my own.
And I dislike both of those other too. I'm suffering.
What should I do? Go to a psychiatrist? Heck no. I'd rather die.
Le sigh.
Ratu · Fri Dec 03, 2004 @ 06:54pm · 0 Comments |
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You're SO not gonna laugh at me again. |
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So. One boring week behind again.
Thus, I don't even have the slightest idea why I'm writing this, since nobody isn't reading this. But! Since somebody just might take a peek at this journal, it's worth it.
I'm sick for attention. Be all slaves for me. Please?
Never mind.
I just got news that tomorrow night is the night when one pretty popular japanese band is on stage. In here Finland.
I could go there, but I can't. Why? I don't have money nor do I have the time, since I've got tests on monday.
This sucks major a**.
So instead of going there I'm gonna angst. And then I'm gonna angst some more. And after that I'm gonna angst.
Wohoo. How genki plans I have. (Please, just don't notice the sarcasm there.)
I stayed at home on thursday and friday. Didn't felt like going to school. It's not that I'm depressed. And sad for no particular reason. Or maybe there is a reason. I'm just not gonna tell you.
... Fine. I am.
You see, I started reading Neil Gaiman's MIDNIGHT DAYS, that story called HOLD ME. It was sad. In a way. And I started crying while reading it.
Pretty shocking? Yes it is. ´Cause I never cry. Never ever. But I cried.
That's why I know I'm depressed. On top of that I don't know why.
And I'm telling you, it's not the hormones.
So what is it?
Give me sugar and I shall shut up. For now at least.
Ratu · Sat Oct 09, 2004 @ 09:38pm · 0 Comments |
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I'm causing some serious problem again... |
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So. It happened again. I caused trouble in school like always.
*sigh*
Yeah right. As if I care.
This week has been a total mess for me.
I had tests I haven't really studied for, doing projects, read books and stuff like that.
Then I have to start doing my new comic pages, including the story of Uncle-d**k. ( Not uncle d**k, I mean Uncle-d**k. )
Whine whine whine. All I do is whine. But you know what? I'm a teenager, I have a right for that.
And of top of that I need a hat.
My friends are boring. They don't have fun at parties and all they really care about is the school. Nerds, I would say. But nerds aren't boring. I like nerds.
Now I'm just starting to feel really stupid.
Why, oh why, do I live in Finland? Not that I hate this country, I just get bored. Getting laid won't help in this problem.
Curses.
Ratu · Fri Oct 01, 2004 @ 06:07pm · 0 Comments |
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This is my first entry. Now, what shall I write? Oh. I know! I'll write nothing! I'm so glad I'm so smart. Because, like, if you write nothing you have, like, no pressure and stuff.
Parents: Oh, we are so proud of you! You're so smart!
Ratu: Oh, I think so too! heart
Actually, writing nothing is not me. Therefore I shall write to tell you that I'm finished with this entry. Right.
Then I'm going to force Daisuke (from Digimon) and Pikachu (from Pokemon) to make babies! Isn't that wonderful? Oh yes it is. And Pikachu is the seme.
Ratu · Sat Sep 25, 2004 @ 12:57pm · 0 Comments |
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