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Resident Evil Franchise
It is my version of the Resident Evil Franchise
How it all began

Resident Evil takes place in Lawrence, KS, originally based on the raging battle between rednecks and wiggers, but Capcom thought this would cause social unrest so they changed it to a zombie apocalypse. No one really knows why considering rednecks and wiggers don't play RE.

The Spencer Mansion (What the gosh darn diddly could have happened?)

George A. Romero was filming a top secret erotic zombie movie called "Night of the Living Head" at the Spencer Estate. However, a considerably large orgy party broke out the night before and all of the actors became intoxicated. When Wesker, Burton, Valentine and Redfield walked into the mansion on a routine mission to bone Spencer's daughter, they thought drunk cannibals were walking around eating each other. Jill read a document and came to the conclusion that the zombies were just washed up Hollywood stars like Matt Damon. Wesker then revealed that he spiked the zombie actors eggnog with a biological agent known as the Timotei-Virus which he obtained from headcrabs.

The Plan (What should have happened)

The plan was to create the ultimate biological weapon, but not for a terrorist group, or military purposes. The Tyrant, codename Timotei Tiger was the super weapon that was developed in the Spencer Mansion. Ozwell E. Spencer hired a group of scientists to develop a man so sexy that if he touched someone they would explode in their panties. The problem was, Timotei Tiger was so sexy that he destroyed all of the punching bags. He needed a new punching bag. A living punching bag. An undead-living punching bag, to be precise. Ozwell hired blonde, homosexual Val-Kilmer lookalike Alberto Wesker to hire the S.T.A.R.S. to test out the T-Virus to observe how dangerous it could be and to bone Spencer's daughter. The Tyrant however, was destroyed by Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine, as it felt self-conscious about its small p***s. The test was a failure. In a later interview, Alberto Wesker stated "If that blasted Daniel Craig wouldn't have happened to have flew over, and dropped his rocket launcher, then maybe the Tyrant would have been a good punching bag for the Tyrant."

Impressed with the results of the T-Virus, George A. Romero now uses it in all of his films.


Or rather, what really did happen

It's a game, for christ's sake. It never really happened. Derp. Except for Albert Wesker, he is the only fictional character in the game along with his 3 sons.

The individuals behind the incident

Among Resident Evil fans, there are many speculations about who is behind this devastating disaster. Ozwell E. Spencer, Alberto Wesker, Dr. Birkin, George A. Romero, Ada Wong, Matt Damon, or even Bill Nye the Science Guy and his wacky box of chemicals. The most likely conclusion however, is that Gordon Freeman perpetrated the disaster when he created a resonance cascade during his time working at Umbrella Corporation.




The monsters

Zombie- The confused retards that wander the Mansion looking for people to rape. They like being kinky, so if you meet one, it will bite you to try to pick up on you. If they are passed out for too long, they will turn red, become super horny, and try to rush at you and try to claw you because of their hyperactive horniness. Avoid or you will be raped.

Lisa Trevor- The tweaked-out daughter of the creator of the mansion. she experimented with different forms of street drugs, causing an abnormal eye to pop out of her shoulder, and her skin to rot from too much crack. She O.D.ed on acid and thought that someone has stolen her mom and dads faces, and she ripped them off to make a bondage mask. She is indestructible because she enjoys and is aroused by being shot, stabbed, burned, you name it. She chases barry and Jill, Wesker and Chris around because she wishes to have a threesome with them. If she gets close to you, she will butt rape you with her tentacles.

Resident Evil THE MOVIE

The piece-of-s**t film takes place in an underground dog food lab, in which experiments on new diet dog food went wrong causing weight loss but at the same time, zombification. Two homeless lesbians, Alice and Rain Ocampo live there, only to find it overrun with zombies. With the help of a bunch of throwaway characters, they escape the lab, but not without a multitude of violence, nude scenes and needle felting. In the end, Rain turns into a Ghoul and Alice gets laid by Carlos Oliviera. Notable only for Actress Milla Jovovich's bald c**t. Made into about 50 gazillion spin-off/follow up/prologue/epilogue/monologue movies all equally strange and crap, Resident Evil is now the most valuable franchise on the entire planet.

Resident Evil Games

Resident Evil
Resident Evil 2
Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
Resident Evil Code: Veronica
Resident Evil 0
Resident Evil 0.5
Resident Evil 0.7
Resident Evil 0.9273
Resident Evil 4: Mexicans immigrants on Spain
Resident Evil 5: Black Guy Killing Simulator
Resident Evil 6: Redneck Village
Resident Evil 7: Oh god - More Zombies?
Resident Evil 8: Stop the Evil Capcom from making more Resi games
Resident Evil 9: Holy Crap! More Zombies!
Resident Evil 10: Bill Gates and his minions
Resident Evil 11: Revenge Of Zombie Jesus
Resident Evil 11 and a half: Zombie Satan expansion pack
Resident Evil 12: We Have All Your Monies Lol!
Resident Evil 13: How long can we milk the cash cow for?
Resident Evil 14: Albert Wesker has sex in the back of a car
Resident Evil 15: The Porno
Resident Evil 16: Things get gay
Resident Evil 16.1: Things get gayer
Resident Evil 17: Wesker and his sons get dirty
Resident Evil 18: Jill Valentine and the Wesker family get it on
Resident Evil 18.1: Ada Wong gets in on the action
Resident Evil 19: Claire and Chirs on Incest
Resident Evil 20: The day Capcom died
Resident Evil 21: aww crap i'm bored i'm gonna play something else
Resident Evil 21.5: LOL the game i'm playing now is way better than resident evil
Resident Evil 21.75: The undead Bill Gates comes to eat the kid from Resident Evil 21 and Resident Evil 21.5
2Residents1Evil [Only on XBox 361]
Resident Evil VS Disney: Showdown
Resident Evil VS DC Universe VS Marvel: This time it's Homo-erotic
Resident Goodness: No longer evil?
[edit] Competition with Resident Evil
Several other companies and games have tried to make games in the survival horror genre to compete with the Resident evil Series. These games, to save time and energy, all sucked balls compared to the Resident Evil games, except for one of them that is way better than any RE game, and I will mention it later. This is the list of games that FAILED at trying to better than Resident Evil. They are vaguely explained to make them sound worse than they probably actually are.







Resident Good

The only other Survival horror game that is BETTER than any of the games in the Resident Evil series. It was made by the armenian guy Narbe Hartoonian, who did not work for any company. It was about a white guy who had to fight his way out of mansion infested with Black Plague victims (not exactly zombies) in the early 1300's. He fought and killed Adolf Hitlers' Black Plague infected corpse, died, and some other White guy escaped with some other chick and they lived happily ever after. Still, it was way better than Resident Evil, but did not make as much money since it was made in the 1300's, had horrible graphics, and had not NEARLY as much advertising as Resident Evil had. But it was still way better than Resident Evil.

What Relevance Does this Have to Hitler?
As with every other Capcom game, every Resident Evil game has some relevance to Hitler.

The relevance the games and films have to Hitler is that the zombies are all cannibalistic Nazis in Halloween costumes.



[img:2c7d3994c6]http://i364.photobucket.com/albums/oo87/Strangeshadow007/GIF%20images/nagisa1.gif[/img:2c7d3994c6]



YTP Haruko
Community Member
YTP Haruko
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