As a 22 Year old woman now, I read back on all my entries and just sit here baffled, one, by the poor grammar, two, the spelling was atrocious, and three, you were a whiny brat...
Little did you know that in just a few short years, after the heart break, the crazy boyfriend, getting used by a guy you hardly knew and wreaking your self worth because of him; You find the love of your life, get married, have the dog and cat you always wished upon a star for(you still wish on stars btw). Life gets pretty great, but you really shouldn't take the things you had back then for granted, your family doesn't hate you, your life isn't this black abyss that you tried to make it out to be to yourself, mom and dad do love you and they try to pay as much attention to you as possible but you know having a brother with autism its hard and eventually you make peace with that part of yourself, you're not this hard emo kid, really your this sweet, funny, smart, bubbly girl who had a lot going for you, you have the biggest heart, and you empathize with everyone which can leave you feeling very stripped, you have so many wonderful and loving friends, granted you did have one friend who wasn't so good, but even still i think back on her fondly, she helped you create a freer self.
The only real advice i can give you, is don't give up, you have such an incredible support system, and so many people who really do love you. I know its hard to imagine, especially the summer of your Junior year you had that encounter with... lets just call him "Douche Face" he used you and never looked back, and that shook you to your core, its amazing you were able to trust men again, it shows how strong you are now. You'll meet your love in your senior year, through all the partying and raving you do... Hes the sweetest most loving person you can meet, and he is probably one of the few people who really understands you. Be nice to him, cause sometimes, even now, you act like a brat, but for some reason he marries your butt. Be thankful!
Good luck young me... Its incredible with all the stupid things you've done that you turned into the me now. We still have a lot of growing up to do, but I know I'll never let go of my child side, I still enjoy my cartoons and anime, I ended up in an amazing career with wonderful coworkers, you even get your first tattoo, and your second tattoo as well... note, that one hurts like a b***h.
Don't ever give up little me, even now you're getting thrown from person to person for a job opportunity that you should never let go of. Its in its final stages and hopefully you'll be official before your anniversary... Thats right anniversary. Of your wedding! be proud little me... You got life, you got this. I believe one of your favorite characters said, "BELIEVE IT" (haha see Naruto haha)
I love you little me... maybe in the future I'll see this post again, and then write a new one seeing all the things I've done now.
Have a great teen years, and dont give up!
Love
Older me
Alisha
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