Flightless <3
Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 @ 01:17am
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Journal Entry #4
Aug 31, 2010
9:21 am
Game of disk football was interrupted by a fire dril. It hurts to write right now because of it. Those damn crutches do a number on my hands. You ask what happened, why im on the crutches and I laugh. It was at band camp. Your laughing now too, because its funny and the classic line “this one time at band camp” some to mind. I popped my knee out of place the first day there and I, being the trooper I am, walked on it the whole week. Stupid, I know, but I never said I was smart.
Now you say to finish the point im making but I have no point to this right now. im simply letting my pencil record the rambling of my mind. Interesting ramble, huh? My mind is my escape, so it has to be random and interesting.
Your talking now about our made up government. The class assignment that is, honestly, weird. Poverty is the subject and we go into detail, like always. I like the way you teach. Its unique and it keeps my interest. I like listening to the excitement and passion in your voice that is very contagious, though I dare not show that I share your excitement. It shows emotion and that goes against my manner for now. I am a mindless zombie, walking this earth with no real emotion and no set thoughts. She stole those from me.
War and peace. That’s our subject now. what is war? Is it fighting? If it is fighting, is it with weapons or with words? Do we ever really have a good reason for war? We speak of needing war for peace…but is that true? We’re jumping from subject to subject. War and peace. Now we’re talking about being watched. Cameras in changing rooms, tvs, and other everyday things. We speak of it being necessary for our safety. I, honestly, think its creepy. I listen, but add my own thoughts that, for now, will stay private. Who knows, though? If im being watched, including my thoughts, someone somewhere already knows.
END ENTRY
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XxFlightlessHeartxX
Community Member
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 @ 01:14am
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Journal Entry #2
Aug 30, 2010
7:04 pm
Same date, different time, different place. You’re listening to my story and probably loving and hating every second of it. To be honest, it feels nice to show the truth of what’s going on. Im messed up, I need help and im not afraid to admit all this. What I am afraid of is losing my sanity…and that day isn’t too far off. Your hearing this and thinking of a few therapists you know. So I’ll tell you now I won’t go, or if I do, I won’t say anything. So all those names in your head you can forget, they won’t help. Sorry.
Life is short, time is shorter. Sometimes, however, events can alter that and make life shorter than time. What’s amazing is how you can go from just depressed one day to completely suicidal and homicidal in the period of two days. Its incredible how one turn of events can turn a sensible person into an emotionless, mindless zombie…or even a monster. Life works in mysterious ways. No, not just life. Everything around us works in mysterious ways. Are we all doomed in life? Some people believe so. Some believe in salvation. Me? to be honest, im not sure what to believe. Everything around me is a mystery to me. a mystery that leaves me unsure about life; leaving me broken on the floor.
Life isn’t a fairy tale, so why bother living like it is? There’s no “happy ever after” at the end. At least not for me. at the end of life is death. It’s a sad truth but there it is. And, often, I find myself wondering how many more times I have to hurt while looking for a happy ending that may, or may not, exist. for me, its not worth it. That’s a conclusion I came to right after Phil came along. Wait-a-go Phil. You can check “ruin someone’s life” off of your “To Do” list.
END ENTRY
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XxFlightlessHeartxX
Community Member
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