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Well okay. Now ill tell you everything ive lived through....and its hard to bring back some memorys. When i was little my mother had me at a very young age. Ive always thought ive ruined her chance to go to collage but i never admit that. sad
But when i was 4 i think i was 4 my grandma took me into custody. I Lived in North Carolina basically my whole life. I called my grandma mom cuz i didnt know she rly wasnt becuz i didnt have good memorys of my real mom so i forgot. confused
When i was 8 everything changed. Every Day my grandma would abuse me. I never showed any pain or sadness. I just dealt with it. She was always drunk on those days to,...so it made things worse. I dont think i remember a time when she wasnt sober. But i still loved her ofcourse. When she was sick or hurt i was there...always. But when i was hurt she wasnt there..she left me. Abanded wuld be the proper term. Then when she was sober the next day she pertended like nothing ever happened. Shed treat me like a princess so i always forgave her. But every night i dealt with it again. She would turn on me and hurt me more. I never even got an apology.... crying
As i got older things got worse. Then 1 afternoon..i was playing with som1 very close to me...so close we were like bffs lol...he was older then me tho..but still he treated me like a kid sister. We were playing hide and go seek. (it kills me to say this memory...) im just gonna skip detail..he sexually abused me. I was shocked/scared/mad/sad/confused. I didnt kno wht to do..but i lived through it without telling a soul... cry
But as i got older a miracle came along. My mom came to North Carolina and took me back...but even tho my grandma had hurt me it was hard to see the pain it caused her when i left. But it was finally over i was free from hell i was released..Ive lived in texas for about 5 years now..and i think the only real pain i am caused is by my mom. I love her to death..yes. But she yells at me and always blames me for stuff. But ive dealt with worse so i dont let it get to me. Also in school i ge hurt a lot..but i dont care im just happy to be away..away from it all. whee
But about a 2 years ago i tryed to die...i rly did. I was just so done..my soul had been broken and torn ..and forgotten. So i tryed to jump infront of a car...and i wuldve done it..if...my best friend wasnt there so save me. She pulled me out of the way. I told her to let me go but she just held me in her arms and never let go..i was scared. eek
But as i sit and write this im thankful that my bff did that for me. She loved me and i realize i am loved by my family (well most of them) and friends. Im happy i didnt end my life. Because im living a pretty messed up drama life and thats all that keeps me going. smile
Thanks for reading...hope you..all live happy lives. : heart