I keep crying at night, for no reason. And then once I've stopped, I think, and then I start all over again.
Because even though he's tried to make me feel better, by telling me that I won't be the same as the others, it still feels very much so.
I don't think it's as special to him as it is to me.
I've been so depressed over the last while; I don't talk to anybody as much, I rarely smile or laugh and mean it. And at night, I blast my iPod in my ears to stop myself from thinking but once the music stops the tears start, and then I'm awake for the next thirty minutes crying; the kind that's so painful you curl up into a ball, and every part of you aches. I'm too intense about this, though. He doesn't cry, he doesn't think about me as much as I do him. I'm such a dork.
I had a nosebleed in school yesterday; I called my mum's work and she came and got me, then left me at home with a roll of toilet paper and a phone to somehow prevent another one from happening. It didn't happen again though, for which I'm grateful.
 Ultra Sexfiend · Fri May 22, 2009 @ 03:01am · 0 Comments |
