Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Down The Rabbit Hole We Go
Enter at your own risk.
Creation - Pieces of me
"I know it hurts and I know there are days when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t breathe because of this unbearable lack of something or someone. I know what it’s like to be sad for no reason at all, standing in the rain with no intention of surviving. I know things hurts, I hurt, but life can also be so beautiful… Wonderful things are waiting for you. I know it, I’ve had a taste of it, small moments of complete clarity. Magical nights under the stars and peaceful mornings with someone you love. Before you know it you will thank yourself for staying strong and holding on. I do, most of the days. I know there are days when even one single positive thought feels like too much effort, but you must develop an unconditional love for life. You must never lose your childish curiosity for the possibilities in every single day. Who you can be, what you can see, what you can feel and where it can lead you. Be in love with your life, everything about it. The sadness and the joys, the struggles and the lessons, your flaws and strengths, what you lose and what you gain." — Charlotte Eriksson


"You don't have to be perfect to be deserving of love. I know that you question how anyone could want to be with someone like you. Someone who isn't easy. Someone who carries so much darkness and hasn't found their way. But here's the truth - no one is easy one hundred percent of the time. Everyone is difficult in some capacity. Everyone hurts and struggles. Everyone feels lost and has baggage. Those hard pieces might be part of who you are, but they aren't the only part, and they aren't the part that matters most. You're more than the pain you're carrying. You have so much more to offer than your wounds. And the right people know this.
The hard pieces of your story don't make you undesirable or inadequate. They make you human. You don't have to be the epitome of mental and physical health to be deserving of a relationship. You just have to be a person. To show up and be vulnerable. To be dedicated to learning and growing and becoming a more full version of yourself. To be open to practicing patience and letting go. To be willing to put in the time and the work. So when your mind gets loud and you find yourself drowning in your thoughts, tell yourself, again and again: I can be struggling and still be worthy of connection. I can be difficult to handle and still be deserving of love. I can feel lost and not have it together and still be someone of value. I'm choosing to show up. I'm choosing vulnerability over fear. I'm choosing to believe, even when it feels fake, that I'm enough." — Daniell Koepke


"Someone with anxiety falls in love the way you do. The only difference is that while they’re falling in love, their brain is also coming up with a million different reasons why they shouldn’t. Someone with anxiety falls in love slowly, cautiously, because they are always thinking— this can’t possibly last, this can’t possibly be real, this is too good to be true, something’s going to ruin this at some point.
Someone with anxiety falls in love while feeling a strange mixture of hope and dread. Hope – that they’ve finally found someone they can talk to, someone they can depend on, someone they can trust. And dread – that they will not be good enough, that they don’t deserve this, that their heart now sleeps peacefully in someone else’s hands but that it could end up being shattered at any moment.
But someone with anxiety also falls in love whole-heartedly.
They fall in love fiercely and absolutely and with the commitment to something that is finally light and exciting and real. They feel scared but certain, out of control but also lighthearted.
Someone with anxiety appreciates the big stuff but falls in love during the little moments – quiet car rides, deep sleeps, across the room looks in the middle of a boring party. They fall in love during reassuring conversations. They fall in love from hand-holding that puts them more at ease on a turbulent flight. They fall in love during a Saturday nap and a breakfast date that is just a bagel on a bench and a weekend spent with a family that starts to feel a little bit like their own.
They fall in love during the little things because the little things make them feel normal. The little things with someone special remind them that it doesn’t have to take much to bring them back from a dark night or a panic attack or a work meltdown. Someone with anxiety falls in love the way you do – they fall in love intensely and vulnerably and wholly. The only difference for them is getting to a place where they believe that they truly deserve it." — Kim Quindlen


"Growing is messy. It's not always self realization and pursuing goals to become better. Sometimes it is feeling all that pain while standing under the shower, with the hopes that everything will flow down the drain along with the water but also because you know you have to feel it before you can let go. It is trying to accept the bits of yourself that you hate because you know they are there to stay, to remind you that you can never be perfect because you are human and you need to forgive yourself everyday. Embracing the part of you that is angry and guiding its hand to a place where it can gently express its grief and sorrow because yes, we all are mad and angry about something, and what we need is not somebody telling us to be otherwise but a space where we can safely feel our negative emotions. It is walking with your fears or sitting with your heartache at 2 in the morning, closing a door that you know you are no longer welcome. Growing is painful, slow, and it is a cycle that goes on and on because life is meaningless if in everyday you do not fear of change or you do not get excited of something new happening in your life, or you do not feel uncertainty with the decisions you make. The times when you are going to be most proud of yourself are the ones when you know you have grown despite being buried deep in the dirt, the times when you rise up every time no matter how many times you get trampled on by life. Never stop growing, love." — Ivee Lou


"I hope you choose kindness. Even when others are being cruel. When someone asks you to give them your heart all warm and full of trust, and they give you something makeshift and full of barbed wire in return: be kind. Some people need to feel your heart wrap around them more than you know.⁣
I hope you choose empathy. Even when you don’t want to. When someone gives you reasons to judge them, to dislike them; when they behave in ways that you do not understand: be empathetic. Some people need you to walk a mile in their shoes.⁣
I hope you choose calm. Even when you’re in the midst of chaos. When someone upends your world, and the rest of the world feels utterly upside down: be calm. Some people need you to be their safe haven.⁣
I hope you choose peace. Even when wars rage within and around you. When someone tries to take you to battle, when it feels like your character and choices are under siege: be peaceful. Some people need your help learning to let go.⁣
I hope you choose trust. Even in the face of falsehoods. When someone has dishonored you, when they have lied to you, when someone has made you feel small; remember that not everyone will do these same things: be trusting. Some people need you to take leaps of faith.⁣
I hope you choose patience. Even when you are overwhelmed by unknowns. When someone cannot give you answers, when you begin to wonder why you’re here, when you simply want to give up: be patient. Some people are truly worth the wait.⁣
I hope you choose love. Even when it would be easier to hate. When someone stirs white-hot rage within you, when they insult you, when they question your worth: be loving. Some people need your love more than you do.⁣" — Kirsten Robinson


"Thank you to those who choose to understand my silence no matter how deafening it is. Those who believe that my silence isn't just some excuse but something deeper, something my words can't express and that I need time to compose myself. Those who never coat my silence with malice and judgment and are willing to wait until I'm ready to break it. Thank you to the few individuals who understand my silence, as much as my words." — Gecille Elido


"The harsh reality of this world is that some people come to you as lessons, some relations are made to test you, and some losses happen to teach you. Not everyone has a heart like yours,
not everyone has a heart like yours, not everyone feels as deeply or give as freely as you do. Sometimes you'll find that all that
you gave to others seems lost somewhere and you are indebted to yourself for all that is unrecoverable. You'll find that the value of what you have done for some is zeroed, scattered in their minds as something you did out of choice rather than out of love. Some people come to teach you the value of your being when they devalue you, they teach you not to lose yourself trying to complete others. Some people come to remind you how rare you are in your softness, in they remind you to save that for those who are willing to cherish you, not use you." — Naaveesa


"And sometimes those honest conversations lead to the most pain because in moments of growth you always lose something. Shedding parts of who you used to be like snake sheds their skin and you have to be strong enough to walk away, knowing what or who you are leaving behind is not meant for you anymore. And it has nothing to do with what you've done wrong but rather the things you're starting to do right." — Kirsten O'Corley


"When you tell someone, “I love you. I’m proud of you. You did a great job on that project.” You’re not just being kind; those are healing words. We don’t know what people are going through. They may smile on the outside, but on the inside, they’re hurting, they’re lonely, they’re insecure. Many people have wounds from the past, wounds from people putting them down, wounds from a relationship that didn’t work out. Just a simple word of encouragement, “I’m praying for you.” A simple compliment, “You look great today.” It’s no big deal to you, but to them, it’s helping heal the wound, it’s lifting their spirits, it’s causing them to believe in themselves. Your words can be what keeps them moving forward." — Joel Osteen


"If anxiety is getting the best of you, just read this —
I know you’re tired even though you just woke up but just do your best today. That’s all anyone can ask of you. That’s all you can ask of yourself. Don’t push yourself too much. I know you’re scared to fail. So much so, you’re striving for perfection and you beat yourself up every time you fall short. You’re your own worst enemy and I’m here to tell you, you don’t need to be.
I know you’re worrying and thinking too much. And everyone is telling you to relax. But you can’t seem to. I want you to know, it shows a sign of strength caring as much as you do.
This is not a weakness but a virtue of yours. You have a heart that doesn’t want to hurt people. You come off as paranoid but I know you just want to make the right choices. Know that you already are. You’re doing great.
I know your heart is racing but you disguise it with a smile. In those moments where anxiety is controlling you, take a deep breath. Do whatever you need to that will calm your nerves. It’s okay to be like this and you don’t need to change. Just learn to breathe through it. To accept it, and conquer it.
I know you hate yourself for breaking down and crying in private because of something you couldn’t control even if it was something small. Stop hating yourself. Stop beating yourself up. It’s okay to have those moments as long as you don’t let them define you. There is so much more to you than your anxiety.
So when your anxiety is getting the best of you and you’re hating yourself for it, I want you to remember this:
It will all be okay. Your entire life is going to be okay. The relationships and the people who belong in your life will not leave you.
No one thinks you are a burden as you run over details a million times of things playing out in your mind. You do whatever you need to, to live with this. Everyone else will learn to adapt also.
Remember, you are loved. You are needed. You are cared about. And your anxiety does not define you, so don’t let it." — Kirsten O'Corley


"It took me a long time to realize that you can do everything right and still end up unhappy. You can say all of the right things, do exactly as you are told, follow in the footsteps of all the people who swore by their success and their strategy surrounding it, and you can still end up displaced — because you didn’t ever choose to simply listen to yourself.
The best thing I ever did for myself was simply listen to what I actually wanted. I drowned out the guidelines, the advice, the 'shoulds.' And I messed up. I made mistakes that I’ll never forget. I hurt people I loved, and I got hurt.
See, self discovery isn’t this comfortable, miraculous thing. It can get ugly, it can get confusing. It's gritty, it's hard. It’s difficult to confront yourself sometimes, it's difficult to be the person who does things differently, who doesn’t settle.
But it's the greatest gift you will ever give yourself. It will push you towards figuring out what your own personal version of happiness looks like; and when you grow on your own terms, when you figure out what actually matters to you, and when you carve out your own path, you live on your own terms. You love on your own terms. You become the person you have always wanted to be, rather than the person you were always told to be, and that is beautiful. Because when it comes down to it — life is about making yourself proud on your own terms. It’s about finding a happiness that works for you." — Bianca Sparacino





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum