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im making this entry for rachel,i guess for also anyone else who wishes to read it, anyone left, its as dead and colorless as my soul, anyways everyday im tired, im cranky, im cold. both physically and emotionally. im loosing the will to live slowly,its like someone stabbed my heart and the blood leaking out is my will to live. heh, life is depressing, death, DEATH is apart of life, it cant change, it cant bend, it cant stop! humans, YOUR ALL SO DAMN PREDICTABLE! your traitorous lies, your selfish wants and needs, your strive to change things that cant be changed and destroying things that can. right now except a few, I HATE YOU ALL,......... but you dont need to take it personal, its not exactly your faults its a group effort, our species, this human race that im supposed to be apart of, its flawed and evil........i just cant stand how this world is comming to......if im human how come I CANT CHANGE MY LIFE!?.......wh-why do i have to suffer and fail at every point............ maybe........ maybe god hates me, OR THERE ISNT A GOD AT ALL!!!! who the ******** is he anyway!? HUH??? who does he think he is? he creates a universe and all of this because he is board. grrrrrrrr HE IS SO HIGH AND MIGHTY THAT WE ALL HAVE TO SUFFER FOR HIS ENTERTAINMENT!!!! all the death and poverty,......suffering,........ if this was his world he would do something, if he was all good he would treat us well, he would explain things before he lays out a choice for us to make,........you know what god,....... ******** YOU!!! all i have ever received by trusting you is pain and suffering, your love is only an applause to the latest "act" i performed,.............everyone loves to see me suffer, they just love scaring the lizard dont they? dragging me around so they can get their saddistic kicks out of making me loose my tail,....... scaring me for laughs watching me cry as i scuttle for the nearest rock....... NO MORE!!!!! I HAD ENOUGH!!!! i will not be stepped on anymore, anyone who dares to step on me again will feel the heat of a thousand suns!!!! ILL SHOW THEM PAIN!!...... ill get them to back the ******** up, ill win, ill get out of high school, through collage, and unto my future path one way or another.....rachel i love you, and i hope, through my jouranl entrys, and my pms...... not only will you get to see the world through my eyes, but i get to hear your storys,....maybe your the small flame of hope that keeps me alive.........
 Aexeiz · Thu May 13, 2010 @ 05:23am · 0 Comments |
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