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I present to you, The Guy Code. What is displayed below are some of the things that preoccupy a guy's mind. Not all males are like this, but this about covers the basics. It is broken up into many categories and will continue to grow and change, so this is a live document. This is not necessarily law to all guys, like I have mentioned. It just covers the basics.

Conversation
Most guys usually talk about what interests them. Video games, sports, girls, things they've done. They speak their minds about topics and such, and will occasionally joke around if the conversation calls for it. If all guys present are silent, that counts as conversation too. It's just saying, "I don't mind your company." Also, conversations don't have to be extravagantly long.
Guy 1: "Hey."
Guy 2: "Hey."
That is a conversation; it's all any guy needs to really say in one.

Greetings
For greetings, it is very traditional to do the generic handshake: grip the others' hand, slide yours away, then come back with your hand in a fist. When guys progress into high-school, it develops into just a firm all-business handshake. However, if two guys made up their own handshake, they will perform that when they aren't too tired to do it. A made up handshake is sacred, if anyone else takes it, then they are dead. Also, when two guys see eachother in a public place, it is customary to make eye contact and give a simple upward nod. No talking and no hand gestures. However, if another guy is just standing there, and you have nothing to do, you may approach the other and hold some kind of conversation. Whenever a guy sees another good friend, it is usually customary to give a hug whenever the opportunity comes.
"error|dot|exe"
Or, you know, punch them in the gut. Wrestling and sometimes just plain fist fights are ways of showing that you enjoy their company. Not because you can beat the s**t out of them, but because they understand that you aren't angry and usually go along with it. Friendly headlocks, anyone?


Relationships
Contrary to popular belief, guys are nervous when it comes to relationships. If you are dating one and he hasn't kissed you yet, it just means that he's waiting for a good chance and he's too shy to do it now. Just be patient and give him time, or surprise him and kiss him first. It'll give him a good confidence boost, trust me on that. And believe it or not, good guys will listen to you and may actually enjoy talking to you. Also, a guy might brag about the one he's having a relationship with, but this is not meant to be degrading or insulting, just proof that the one he is dating really is the best. This one is important: never send a guy mixed messages! We will get more of the mixed than the message. There is a 0.01% the guy you are sending them to will figure it out, so you're better off just coming out and telling us what you want/think. We'll be that much gladder that you didn't have to put anything in subtle signs that we can't even pickup.

Girls
I should smack myself for not putting this in earlier. For (straight) guys, girls are THE MOST CONFUSING CREATURES ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. This is basically an extension of the Relationship field, but somewhat differing. For you girls who like a guy and are sending him 'mixed messages'...stop. Your attempt at a connection will fail miserably if that is all you do. Some guys are hard to hookup with, some are easy. Generally, if you ask a friend out, there's an 80% chance he'll say yes to it. But once again with the mixed messages...this even goes to couples who are constantly dating. This is basically an interpretation of what we hear when girls say things:
Guy Says: What do you want to eat?
Girl Says: Anything.
Guy Interprets: "Anything."
Girl Means: "You had better remember my favorite restaraunt, or you are a dead man. Nothing too nice, because I'm not dressed properly, and NOT McDonalds, because that place is too average."
Girl Says: It's hot in here.
Guy Interprets: "This place is warm."
Girl Means: "Turn on the fan or something to cool it down."
If you don't come out and say what you mean, then us guys will usually take the fall for not understanding you. So help us out when you want/need something!
"Rei Durden"
Boys speak in rhythm.

Girls speak in code.

Groups
Okay, you can't deny this; if you are a guy, then you are in a group. It doesn't matter if you stick a label to it or not, it is what others dictate it to be. Example? Bush doesn't think he's a moron, others do, so what is he? A moron. Anyway, the group that a guy is in doesn't have to be guideline-strict to have him belong. That's the thing about guys, they usually go on a mass vote to say if someone is in the group or not. Introduction is really all it takes. "Hey guys, this is my friend, <insert name here>." That's it, that person, girl or guy, is in the group. A guy's group is purely his friends in a mass gathering.
"citizen_snips"
We always have one friend who is the wimpiest, and or the dumbest. We usually make fun of this grunt more, and he often gets more hits, but we will just as readily defend him when he gets into a sticky situation.


Entertainment
I'm gunna keep this PG-13. Most guys usually have one topic that they like to talk about, which is basically their favorite thing to do when bored. These may include video games, books, sports, girls, school, technology, and anything else that may interest them. However, their interests are not their defining point. If you think that a guy is a dork because he likes video games or if you think he's a total babe because he likes sports, take the time to educate yourself. If a guy is trying to get you hooked onto his interests, take them for a spin. Try something new and you just might like it.
"MikeHell"
When males are bored we do stupid things, more so when alcohol is involved. You may think your boyfriend is okay alone with some of his friends doing nothing, but we aren't. A soda bottle can become a deadly weapon or a musical instrument, depends on who is around. A rubber band and some paper can cause some men to become "great hunters" of other friends, occasionally sending them to ERs. Car accidents "off road" are bound to happen.


Humor
This falls in with entertainment. If guys are bored and have nothing better to do, they may tell a good joke to break the silence. These jokes can vary a lot, but most guys like the ones that were said by a good comedian. Popular ones are Carlos Mencia, The Blue Collar Boys (Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engval, and Larry the Cable Guy), and Pablo Fransisco. All because they have good stories and scenarios, and just speak their minds. We also laugh when pain comes to mind. If someone gets hurt in one way or another, we will make a joke about it.

Restroom Etiquette
Alright, in the restroom, there are certain rules guys pertain to. If it is crowded, do not go outside to wait, you will lose your spot. Just wait in there for a while and go to the nearest available one. Also, when you are waiting for someone to finish because you have to go, DO NOT STAND DIRECTLY BEHIND THEM. This will cause some major discomfort and you will only have to wait longer. Also, when doing your business, just stare straight ahead. Don't even think about breaking the horizon. When washing your hands, make sure you actually wash them, but do it quickly. Soap, water, dry, done. Also, if you are waiting for a friend to finish up, wait outside of the room. And make sure to space yourselves! If there are plenty of urinals open, do not use the one directly next to someone else. Once again, major discomfort.

Thoughts
Yes, we are perverted, deal with it. Better yet, find someone who ISN'T perverted. You can't. "Perverts" are just people who speak their thoughts more often. You know you're perverted, don't deny it. Guys are just more open about that subject. Maybe some girls, too. But perversion can be fun and the topic about most jokes, so it's not really a bad subject, just a subject rarely talked about.

Appearance
Okay, about clothes, we could really care less. We're not real enthusiastic when it comes to shopping. We find it boring, to us it's like a walk. When we get clothes, we do it for the clothes, not for the fact that we are buying things. And what we look like does not matter to us. As long as we don't look like morons when we walk out the door, we are fine. If we have sunglasses, they have to look good. They are the best part of our appearance if we have any. We do not wear them because of the sun, we wear them because we think we look bad-a** in them.

Signs that a guy likes you
We are guys, so we basically do what we feel like. If we are hungry, we eat, if we a tired, we sleep, and if we are bored, we find an orthodox way to become entertained. Same goes with attraction. If we find someone attractive, we'll make it known. We don't really send out mixed messages, that just complicates things and could scare the person away. We basically just become friends first, then talk to them a lot and see if we have common interests. The only real sign we give off is if we pay more attention to you than any other girl.

The Grill
The grill is where the guy cooks. Yes, he can make cereal and maybe even some scrambled eggs, but if he's on the grill, he's gunna make one helluva meal. Grilling is a thing all guys can relate to. Whether charcoal, propane, or a bonfire, men will know the smell of a barbecue wherever they are. Anything can be cooked on a grill: Vegetables, ribs, burgers, hotdogs, sandwiches, fruits...anything. A grill is where a guy becomes creative. He may have a secret sauce whipped up or a certain way of cooking that will just blow your mind. Guys will ALWAYS compliment eachother on their grills. If you have an outdoor titanium grill built into a bar with a sleek design and a good feel to it, you are a god.

Music
Not all guys listen to the exact same music. Many have different likes. Music will affect us greatly. When we hear a fast paced song, we are full of energy. If a guy is listening to "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman5000, "Before I forget" by Slipknot, or something of the like and he is in a fight, he is going to reduce the other guy to a bloody pulp. And foreign songs are just fun. If we hear a Mexican song come up in Spanish, then we will be on our feet dancing and trying to sing with it. There are groups of guys who like the same music. A good example is in cars. If a good song is on, and everyone knows the words, it becomes a hyper sing-along. Everyone in the car is jumping and making weird expressions for humor and fun. If you are a girl and happen to be in the car, beware, as this is contagious. We make it so.

Competition
Guys are always competitive. It can be either athletic, acedimic, or something entirely different. We will try to have the funniest story, the worst experience, or even the best sound we got when we broke something. In the middle of a competition, you and your opponent are mortal enemies. But after the competition, you can be the best of buds. Handshakes, pats on the back, and compliments are always necessary. If you leave the playing field screaming, yelling, and cursing, you're an idiot. And during competitions, guys just love to hear girls cheer for them. It gives guys a monumental boost of adrenaline, and they will win the game and show off just for the girls on the sidelines.

Fighting
Guys fight to inflict pain. Simple as that. Girls however, fight to kill (or so I've heard). It could be for a belief, a girl, territory, or because the guy is mad. Most fights are quick, and just consist of pushing and swinging your arms. If you see someone throw a real punch in a fight, then it's a good fight. If there's a small splash of blood, it makes everyone go crazy. The opponent gets a blood lust and the spectators give it a 10 out of 10. Also, guys are usually afraid of the first fight. They've never fought before and they don't know if they're good. As for grudges, they don't hold for long. Any life-long grudges involve a tragic death, so there are very FEW of them. And guys will talk about a good fight. If it's a bad fight though, we will still talk about it, except with more laughing than talking.


I copied this from

This thread http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/general-discussion/the-guy-code/t.17554453/