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I know he wouldn't want us to dwell on it forever.
He'd want us to move on.
Be happy, just as he is up in heaven.
Making it gorgeous, with God by his side.
It's just too hard.
Christian was absolutely AMAZING, and I don't think the world was ready to give him up yet.
I know I wasn't.

Christian was an angel.
Always will be.
God decided to take him because our world is far too cruel for somebody so pure, and gorgeous.
I don't think he'll ever be gone.
EVER.

I had a dream last night,
thats he texted me and said "I'm here."
&I have this feeling as if it really happend.
Like he was there with me, letting me know that he is okay.
He is happy, and Cynthia can confirm it.

Last night at his house, everyone was crying.
I couldn't stop for about 5hours.
The prayers were meaningful, and they helped a lot.
Trisha has had to worst birthday ever.
&I can't help to feel like crap.

I know this pain will never fade.
Especially for his family.
But, we know where he is.
Where he is with.
&How beautiful he is making our Heavens.

heart R.I.P Christian Lozano heart heart
June 17, 1992 - October 3, 2008.

My heart was pounding, the tears were black.
There has to be something.
I have nothing left.

The cancer came in sticks.
The relief came in blades.
The laughter came in toxic doses.
Death must be the answer.

Wishing, hoping, praying.
Push deeper.
More blood the better.
One more pill.
The less you'll feel.

Just let it go, and shake it off.
They need you.
Too much pressure.
Just let it go, and shake it off.

One more won't hurt.
Cancer comes later in life.
Your young.
Live it up, try a bit of everything.

I can't
They need me.
Just let it go, and shake it off.
Your not their mother.
They need her.
But where is she?
Just let it go, and shake it off.

New boy toy.
Ol' Dad fighting for the red white and blue.
Kids at home.
Everyone knows.

Secrets.
Lying.
Just let it go, and shake it off.
Cheating.
Stealing.
Just let it go, and shake it off.

I chose this.
This is my fault.
These scars.
My health.

This time, I can't just..
Let it go...