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Today I embark on a journey to get my permit. Really, and I've taken the damn practice test over 100 times. I was doing so for hours until I got all 10 questions correct 5 times in a row. I woke up this morning with my head spinning dispite my usual perverted urges I had an urge to put a seatbelt on. On top of that I think I know more than the drivers manual. If I fail im going to kill everyone there xD.
 Ryosakai · Fri Feb 16, 2007 @ 03:37pm · 0 Comments |
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Got my taste back got my smell back. Life is pretty good, I've been getting pretty well acquainted with the girl next door, and my grades aren't too bad.
Ryosakai · Wed Jan 24, 2007 @ 10:27pm · 0 Comments |
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For christmas, I've lost my sense of taste and smell gradually. Now everything literrally smells exactly the same. Nothing smells good or bad, I just can't smell. Likewise with my taste. Exept I get a glimmer of what things taste like. It's kind of taunting, I can tell whether or not I like how something tastes.
Ryosakai · Sun Dec 31, 2006 @ 05:04pm · 1 Comments |
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Well that plan failed. The money was great for a couple months, but then my supplier got locked up. The only way to deal drugs right is with full profit. I gotta find a spot to grow the stuff myself. Then ******** the scales and grams, its nickel and dimes. Virginia's drug economy is about to become more diverse than its' job market. With a commitment like mine I'm left with one question. Where to start? I'll let you know how it all works out. But personally im ok, for fired from my crappy job as a cashier for the dumbest reason. School's okay. Love life is stable, though loveless, just interesting.
Ryosakai · Sun Dec 17, 2006 @ 04:08am · 0 Comments |
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Damnit I hate my job. Its not so bad on the weekdays, but the management is plain stupid. Maybe they have no choice but to be, but who can help what when you're just a cashier in a grocery store right? Not to mention THE BEST HARDEST working fastest cashier they have. But reguardless they fired the only guy they had to work parcel-pick-up[A.K.A. the cartboy]. Since I happen to be one of the 4 cashiers who work at giant, I was chosen to be the replacement whenever possible. It was never in my job description, I didn't apply for it, its just not my job.
The sad part is Im good at it, so good I spend most of the time sitting on my a** doing nothing at all. I've become a chronic smoker and find myself getting closer and closer to smoking half-a-pack a day. If anything though this job keeps me in shape, pushing 10 - 15 12lbs metal carts w/ wheels every day for hours at a time must burn some calories right? Not that it matters, I've always eaten whatever I wanted, and more, and I've had a six pack since I was 5'9".
It's tiring though, this morning I had to wake up at 6:45AM. The night before I was up until 2AM Drinking. I had a major hangover when my alarm clock went off, and fell back asleep for another hour. I was a 1/2 hour late to work. But for now they need me so Im safe. I need the money badly anyway, I have to replace my stolen cellphone and pay the 94$ bill leftover from last month, then pay my rent and enjoy my weekends all at the same time. How? I have a solution, what do I always do when moneys tight?
Dealing week. Pot, trees, marijuana. The safest thing to deal for a little extra money. At 50$ an ounce[28 grams], I can sell each gram for 10$[280$] and catch up with all my debt in 2 weeks with money leftover to make it seem like lifes been going good. I can save for a car/collage until the school year's over, and get that mustang or cobra I've been looking at for so long in the grocery store parking lot.
As bad as it sounds, it's easy. People always ask me, every day at work, at school, so it work even take extra time. They say eventually dealers always get caught. But dont worry guys thats only the greedy ones who make it a living. By January I wont have to touch the stuff, just give it to someone and tell them to bring me back 100$, they'll think they're winning, catching 230$ profit from an ounce of weed without having to take a dollar out of thier pocket to do it.
This is why the greatest minds are used by criminals. Criminal masterminds. Im not saying im one of them, but I just get it. Don't you?
Ryo/Ace~Thanks for reading
Ryosakai · Mon Oct 02, 2006 @ 02:07am · 0 Comments |
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1 Year 3months and 12days later... |
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well, it's been awhile since this journal's seen me. Sad to say I'm insanely sane, sanitized by society in a short sitting. The Solumn sequence silenced my pshychotic salivation, serving society consequently. So it seems shocking im simply non-sadistic, not sedated, nor severely satisfied with life as it knows me. But times change people. And the thing that drove me insane and heartless was my mother who can never give back what she took from me years ago. My sanity. My unsalvagable unsavable sacrificed sanity slain by "motherly love". Im convinced im out of my angst stage, and it was pure hatred all along for those of you that were woundering. She kept building her respect, and just when I was ready to accept that she was the god-forsaken misfortunate women to birth my father's seed, she threw it all away by reminding me of what I came to hate so much. So much that when I see resemblance to this day it destroys my confidence, confidentially ceasing any conciet[sp?] contemptable.
Enough about her, times have changed and so have my surroundings. She kicked me out soon after the whole shoe in the face thing. About a week after that arguement I woke up to a packed bag and an astonishingly angry expression. I was on a train to a family cookout, next I was put in the basement of my aunts house. It's worked out well. I feel a bit better about living for every day I dont see her face. But its not all about her anymore. Now, I'm 16. It's funny, I think I was smarter when I was insane, just at 14 I was smarter than I am now. I've lost most of my vocabulary, godgiven as it was.
But as I was saying, I live with my aunt. I have a job, im well on my way to success. Both of my family businesses are prospering. My Dad's out of jail again, hopefully for good this time. I'll have someone to pay for collage If I dont save enough in time.
I pay rent living with my aunt, it's not exactly worth it but i love living here as much as I hate to admit it. I feel like I started life over when I moved here. If anyone asks, I tell them I dont have a mother that works fine. [Funny, a week after she got pissed off and kicked me out, she got evicted. Her next move was to sell the house. She got 50grand for it, or so she said. but now she lives with her mom. Classic karma if you ask me.] I feel like I have a family for the first time in my life. I kind of just learned what a family is. I feel like I can count on these people if the world was coming to an end, even if I knew they'd be pissed liquidless to help me, I'd know they'd do it reguardless.
I can't say im happy here. This is a middle-class surburban area, im from the city. If you've ever made the transition for a month you'd understand. It's been a year now. I'll be a junior in high school next year, my GPA wasn't bad last year and I feel like a teenager really feels like.
I still smoke, but im in the middle of transitioning from newports to malboro lights. I have like 3 packs of each...the choice is harder than the urge. I'll finish this story later though, I'm in the middle of watching Zorro. Talk to ya next time.
~Ironic
Ryosakai · Thu Aug 31, 2006 @ 05:26am · 2 Comments |
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Once upon a time, before out god existed, there was another. "Lucifer" was the original god. Lucifer was a good god as "ours" is today. Then, he was corrupted by his creations. Because there was so much hatred, sin, and evil made in his creations, he was contradicted. Soon there was no good left in the world, and Lucifer forgot what peace and good looked like. Corruption- Since he was no longer an ideal being, he began to change like his disgusting creations had. Eventually, he was replaced and the world ended. He was sent to a place where no sun would ever travel, a world of his own that reflected his corruption.
His replacement is the nameless god we have today. This god is supposed to be ideal. Conceeded like the last, but with reason. He is the lord and savior of the "free world". Or that's what we think. These rumors made the fallen, but immortal Lucifer unhappy [Or even jealous]. He thought himself to be the best and truest god, and from the moment he processed that thought, Idealism was distorted.
Ryosakai · Fri May 20, 2005 @ 01:46am · 0 Comments |
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Not even one month later and there is another problem in my life. I whine too much. Yesterday, I had a pretty big arguement with what I will bluntly call for this journal entry only, my mother. She was yelling at me about me not having washed my clothes in the past 2 weeks.
Note: I still have a weeks worth of clean clothes to wear.
Also, she says I "Treat this house like a hotel" because I went too my friends house for a week.
Note: She wouldn't let me sleep over, because she says my best friend's mother will let me smoke ciggerettes and stay out late. So every night aside from Friday [Yes, even Saturday], I had to walk a full 1.5Mile and cross one of the busiest streets in Philadelphia.
Not to mention I get bitched at every day for "never cleaning my room". No, I don't make up my bed any morning. And 75% of the time, I throw my clean clothes on my top bunk [I have a bunkbed for no reason, I am an only child] instead of hanging them up.
Note: I straighten up my room all the time, she considers having my window closed and my closet open dirty.
That's enough background, now onto the real problem. Yesterday, we had an arguement about everything. And to my surprise, everything slipped out. I lost control, and found myself yelling at the top of my lungs. This is the second time in my life this has ever happened. Needless too say, I won the arguement. I told her I hated her as I do, that I'd rather starve to death on the street than live with her, that I care about my dad more than her [My dad lives 3 states away and contacts me about every other week].
Alot of it's a blur, but when I woke up this morning, I stayed in bed. I didn't want to get out of bed. Eventually, it- I mean, she came in and told me she was sorry. Did I mention she threw a shoe at my face? Guess not, so I neglected to mention I threw her into a wall. It wasn't payback enough...
Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy. I'm simply venting, and I truely don't care if anyone reads this or not.
Ryosakai · Sun May 15, 2005 @ 10:15pm · 1 Comments |
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I don't understand this b***h. I show constant signs of hatred, and not once have I started to change my actions toward her. I mean, being hated with every fiber of one's being should be obvious after 6 years. I remember one time when I gave her a chance too get on my good side. That day she didn't like how suddenly I'd changed, and thought there was something wrong. I think that's when it started. That damn question that echos in my head. The same godamn question that's only mindblowingly annoying from the one mouth I hate most.
"Are you okay?"
For weeks on end, I heard that piercing statement 2 - 4 times a day. I wounder if that's when it all started. I've hated the women to long too know. Now what? Good question. I bet you wounder how this infamous character is doing nowadays. Well, sure, why not.
Today I'm a bitter b*****d who has a hard time caring about much of anything. If I do care about something, it's probabely just interesting. Of course, there are acceptions. What're these? None of your business...
I haven't changed much in the past month. I hate "it" more than ever, school hasn't changed much, in fact, the only changes in my I'm noticing are physical. Perhaps I'm reaching the end of puberty or something, because I grew a chest out of nowhere. Also, my 6-pack got all...toned and stuff in my sleep. I don't think I do push-ups and sit-ups in my sleep. I barely do them when I'm awake. Once a week if I'm motivated enough, and on a blue moon, three times a week.
Today I went too almost all my classes in school. I forgot too put on my gym shorts, so I skipped 6th. And I never go to lunch in school at 5th period. Never, I always sneak out and go to Burger King. Even when I'm broke. It's more fun than that god forsaken escuse for a lunchroom. How can you eat with numerous annoying pesty children from all different grades are around you, squirming and talking as if they're loved. Not too say that I'm loved, I hate myself for being the son of "it". Don't ask, I'll explain if you ask, and you don't want that.
Oddly, when I got home today, I heard bad news. "Tommorow at 5AM we're leaving to visit our family in washington."
...Shocking. It said "our" as if I care about those people. As if I don't hate them for being there too help her grow when she was a child. Luckily, that group doesn't include my Dad. I don't exactly hate the guy, but how can you not dislike someone who had sex with the thing I call "it", and made me in the process. Truthfully, I hope I was a mistake. If I am a mistake, I can slaughter them all and laugh in thier faces, because mistakes have consequences.
I'll try and stop rambling now, but I must say I was surprised to get 2 new pair of shoes and a shirt the day I was Re-instated at school. I'm such a spoiled ******** brat...
Ryosakai · Sat May 07, 2005 @ 03:23am · 0 Comments |
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