Right, so I decided to have a bit of fun on omegle.com (thanks sara)
1.
Stranger: Hi! I am looking for a nice girl to a nice chat wink
You: Hi. I'm you mother
Stranger: LD
Stranger: biggrin
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Lulz points: 5
2.
You: I AM A KRAKEN FROM THE SEA
Stranger: omg
Stranger: should i run?
You: Nahh, I'm a friendly kraken from the sea
Stranger: oh okay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Lulz points: 1
3.
Stranger: u like fries?
You: I LOVE THEM
Stranger: well u dont get any
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Lulz points: 25
4.
Stranger: hello
You: SEX
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Lulz points: 75 (conversation lasted 4 seconds)
5.
Stranger: BALL SACK
You: HOMOPHOBE
Stranger: any thoughts?
Stranger: im gay...
You: I'm bi
Stranger: QUEER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Lulz points: 50
Faith in humanity: +100
6.
Stranger: hi
You: I AM A KRAKEN FROM THE SEA
Stranger: I''M JUNO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Lulz points: 20
7. (Me trying to convince a horny asian homophobe i was a girl)
You: omg i like so totally love pink
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: what is omg?
You: don't you just like love pink?
You: oh my god
Stranger: yes
Stranger: what is love pink?
You: love pink is like... a feeling of like... adoration for the colour pink
You: Pink is so totally awesome
You: i bought a dress in the nicest shade of pink the other day
Stranger: Oh, good
Stranger: I see
Stranger: thank you for your patience.
Stranger: still I don't know what is OMG?
Stranger: Object management group?
You: Oh My God
Stranger: OMG is oh my god?
Stranger: I see
You: yeah
You: totally
Stranger: what is horny?
You: horny... ummm
You: i think it's ya mam (i fail at staying in character)
Stranger: I am confused very much by such words
Stranger: this is typical problem for none native english speakers.
Stranger: where are you from?
You: I'm from england
Stranger: what car do you drive?
Stranger: I love this country
Stranger: a country of nobility.
Stranger: and also a country of tradition.
You: I drive a pink car, daddy got it custom made so it like... glitters
Stranger: Great, what brand?
You: brand?
Stranger: R&R?
You: like cereal brand?
Stranger: Audi? Bez?
Stranger: Cereal?
You: I'm sorry i only speak english...
Stranger: I mean which company made it?
Stranger: VW?
Stranger: BMW?
You: oh...
You: pergo
Stranger: Top Gear is BBC program.
You: or ... i don't know how you spell it
Stranger: it's very famous
You: i know, i like love richard hammond
You: he's like so cute
Stranger: You know Susan?
Stranger: yes
You: susan?
Stranger: famous singer just
Stranger: MOM Susan.
Stranger: opera singer now.
You: oh the ugly one?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: how old are you?
You: yeah she really needs some mosturiser
You: 19
Stranger: life is a opera also (...What?)
Stranger: in college now?
Stranger: I have been working for 10 year
You: i'm resiting my a levels
You: really how old are you?
Stranger: 35
Stranger: resiting my a levels?
You: yeah they're super hard so i have to do them again
Stranger: Poor man! (I thought i was doing so well...)
You: it's like totally gay
You: man?
You: I'm a girl
Stranger: oh
Stranger: how do you look like?
Stranger: like princess Diana?
You: ummm i don't think so...
Stranger: like whom?
Stranger: You know there is one girl is super sexy
Stranger: she works in prison, then got fired due to her looking.
Stranger: you know it
Stranger: it's a big news here.
Stranger: happen in England only.
You: really? oh that like is so suckish... i have like, blonde hair (i use herbal essences so it's like super shiny)
Stranger: wait I will get you a link.
You: and my ex used to say i looked like kiera nightly
Stranger: http://women.sohu.com/20090720/n265292164.shtml
You: i can't like click on it...
Stranger: http://www.google.cn/imglanding?imgurl=http://photo.malakut.org/upload/2006/02/Kiera%2520Knightley.jpg&imgrefurl=http://photo.malakut.org/2006/02/kiera_knightley.html&h=275&w=380&sz=58&tbnid=6G9FwuUn-J6xFM:&tbnh=89&tbnw=123&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dkiera&hl=zh-CN&usg=__VCFSly8zCGOSscK5gd9vS1i1f4g%3D&ei=8kxsSt2VLI_q6gOZjJSICA&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=4&ct=image&q=kiera&start=0#start=6
Stranger: copy it to IE.
You: IE?
Stranger: browser's address edit box
You: next to the back button?
Stranger: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0461136/
Stranger: you mean her
Stranger: then you are super beautiful!!!
Stranger: England always give birth to super beauty.
You: Oh i know, i think it's like my surgen is really clever so yeah
Stranger: Do you have BF?
Stranger: have you seen prison break?
You: no i dumped my last one because he said he didnt like my nails
You: i saw one episode
You: the guy's like super fit (He so is)
Stranger: yes
Stranger: one girl named Veronica is the type I like .
Stranger: which girl name you like most?
Stranger: I mean which name you like most for girls?
You: i like the name cadence
You: it's super pretty
Stranger: Cadence?
You: yeah it comes from like musical stuff
Stranger: do you have photo on line?
You: oh no i only just got my own computer so i don't now but i will like really soon (Lies)
You: my computer is so awesome
You: it's pink smile (hahaha... no.)
Stranger: smile
Stranger: which star you like most?
You: ohh umm i'm not sure...
You: katherine moennig probably (FIT FIT FIT)
You: she's super pretty, in like a guy way
Stranger: katherine is one of my favourite name
You: whats your name then?
Stranger: Beck
Stranger: katherine is difficult for me.
Stranger: I love traditional girl.
Stranger: when kiss katherine , i will feel like kiss a guy.
You: that name is so awesome
Stranger: not good.
You: haha yueah
You: yeah*
Stranger: but I don't worry for that, I will never be able to kiss her anyway
You: why not?
Stranger: of course
Stranger: not
Stranger: not possible
Stranger: people from two world
You: ohh...
You: so you wouldn't be compatable? (You girls are always on about that stuff right?)
Stranger: I am from asian
Stranger: I seldom see a asian man marry a western girl
Stranger: even a lot of asian woman marry western man.
Stranger: Asian man is smaller than western (LOL)
You: well western men are pigs anyway (apart from me ^^)
Stranger: not so good looking generally in western woman's eyes.
Stranger: Do you have BF?
You: no
Stranger: Oh, Good girl.
Stranger: last time I met a English boy
Stranger: he is 17, told me he has girl friend of 15.
Stranger: he told it's common in western country
Stranger: they have made love to each other also.
Stranger: I doubt.
You: yeah it is i knew a girl who had sex with a 23 year old when she was 14 (Lies... I was getting bored)
Stranger: but it's not common, right?
Stranger: must be very rare case?
You: yeah that doesnt happen very often
You: but 15 and 17 is really common
Stranger: then you are the none common one.
Stranger: poor girl. (i didn't understand)
Stranger: Do you want to be a virgin untill marriage?
You: yeah I think it's like only right i mean i'm not like a slag
Stranger: asian people tends to be like this before.
Stranger: but now things changed.
Stranger: having sex is very common.
You: like rabbits right?
Stranger: not that way, but much easier
Stranger: people make love short from first time knowing each other.
Stranger: not like before need years.
Stranger: now just days
You: yeah people are more fun these days (oops i think i contradicted myself...)
Stranger: yes
Stranger: so you are still traditional girl?>
Stranger: very few now
Stranger: the problem is that man will request for sex
Stranger: it's common
Stranger: if decline always before marriage, then he will break up with you.
You: yeah men are always wanting sex
Stranger: it's not their fault.
Stranger: that's because God has made Women so wonderful.
You: but he says we shoulnt have sex before marriage so is he like a sadist or something?
Stranger: he is just creating trouble for us.
You: as a test?
Stranger: the feeling man can feel from a woman's body is unique.
Stranger: and not able to resist
You: i know a guy that has a traditional girlfriend she sucks him off every once in a while and he's fine with it (Not lies)
Stranger: sucks him off mean?
You: like oral sex
You: like with her mouth
Stranger: I see
Stranger: never do real ********?
You: never
Stranger: it's hurible
Stranger: can not imagine how the girl can keep herself comfortable.
You: well he goes down on her aswell
Stranger: 你好
You: is that you're alpabet?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: by mistake
Stranger: how the girl not losing control of herself?
You: well some girls prefer it to actual ********
Stranger: not possible
You: you think?
You: but like... you're not a girl so how do you know?
Stranger: I am a man
Stranger: I have sex with girls
Stranger: I understood them. (doubt it)
Stranger: after both naked and kiss and hold in arm like.
Stranger: the girl will be very eager to have sex
Stranger: they will strongly request p***s in.
You: yeah but some girls don't like it
Stranger: very very few.
Stranger: mostly it's due to the poor skill of the man.
Stranger: Do you have real sex?
You: well most lesbians don't like it at all, like even with a strap on (well most of the lesbians i know...)
Stranger: forget lesbians. (*is shocked*)
Stranger: she has BF, so she is not lesbians.
You: she's bisexual actually (Lies, but it got the reaction i thought it would)
Stranger: Poor girl.
You: why poor?
You: she has her pick of both sexes
Stranger: oh, god
Stranger: not understandable.
You: how not
Stranger: can you imagine to kiss a girl?
Stranger: naked to her?
You: yeah
Stranger: let her suck you n****e?
Stranger: OMG
You: what?
You: you said so yourself, girls are wonderful
Stranger: that's for men
Stranger: not for girl (It's for who ever it wants to be for you ********]
You: who says
Stranger: are you really a girl? (...bugger.)
You: yep
You: bisexual girl
Stranger: you accept to have sex with a girl?
Stranger: oh, God.
Your conversational partner has disconnected. (b*****d)
Lulz points: 60 (horny guys are always funny)
Faith in humanity: -1582 (Ignorance is infuriating)
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