It isn't fair. It never was and never will. She is going to die. We all will, but her time is being cut short as I speak. As I breathe. As I live much longer than she has left. I always said I wouldn't care. That I wouldn't even cry or let it bother me. But now, before she's even gone, it scares me. Change. The change that is coming as a result of her abrupt absence. The fact that I won't be with either of them after this is over. Not knowing who I will be with. And not knowing how long I have. I've said I've hated her. That I wish she'd just disappear forever. Let me live my life the way I want; without her interference, her opinion, her voice.
I've lied a horrible lie. Its going to bother me, a whole lot more than any one thought, mostly because I always thought I'd be relieved when she was no longer existing.. I hate being right.
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Too Cool for School
Which would explain why we barely made it out. . .
