Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Silence.
There is silence.
Nothing stirs, and the air is void of sound.
The deafening echo of silence.
I do not feel as cold as I was moments ago, but I do not feel any happier.
These thoughts…
My eyes have dried, from the few tears I have shed.
It seems my tears have run dry.
It seems I have cried too much.
Still..
Does it make the pain go away?
I feel a dull resonance in my heart, in my soul.
I feel no sadness, yet no joy either.
I do not know how I feel.
I feel-
Empty.
Void of any emotion.
Drained.
Tired.
I just want to rest.
I try to tell myself that I am alright.
That I do understand.
Only to find myself pitying my despondent state.
How many times have I hurt?
How many times have I cried, knowing I hurt you?
How many times have I wanted to scream out your name, and ask you to hold me, to be there with me, to tell me that everything will be alright?
Too many.
Too many I have lost count.
But it does not matter.
It never does.
The morning brings out tomorrow, and as you call to tell me, “Good Morning, Im Sorry,” everything will have been forgotten.
The memories of now shall cease to linger, and I once again will smile and tell you its alright.
I will not remember the pain, the emptiness, the tears I have shed.
I will forget, as I always do.
I will go on with life, as if yesterday never happened.
Until it goes back to haunt me again, and I feel the same all over.
It’s a never-ending cycle.
Do I have the power to change it?
Do I want to change it?
Deep in my heart, sometimes I wonder if this is all worth it.
Then my heart tells me, and I sigh, that my sacrifices are not in vain.
Someday, everything will be alright.
I wound not have to cry anymore,
Alone at night.

I've honestly tried to let you go,
I've honestly tried to forget you.
I've honestly tried not to think of you,
But I honestly cant.
'Cause I honestly don't want to.