Alright...Well...
I'm feeling emotional.
For the first time in a while.
And I need to vent.
So...Yeah.
I'm taking my friend's idea...And writing a letter to myself.
[I am not a liar. I do not exagerate. I do not want/need your sympathy. I just need to vent.]
Vincent...
So. You were born...November 25. 1989. November...that's a GREAT month, right? Last year in November...A lot of things happened. Yeah...You turned 17. Another year closer to death. Lots of death...Yeah...Just know Vincent, it's not your fault. That day...November 20. Yeah..It hurts to think about it. But Vincent, no matter what Dad says, it's not your fault. Yeah...He says you're the reason she died. He says you're the reason she locked herself in the garage in the middle of the night. He says it's your fault she kept the windows up. And let the car fill with carbon monoxide. As her face relaxed in an eerie way. How looking at her, you'd think she's asleep. But her internal organs are going crazy. She starts internally bleeding. Her lungs start trying to push the gas out. Her brain went crazy from the small doses of oxygen. But, Vincent, it's not your fault. Mom loved you. No matter what Dad says, Mom loved you, and it's not your fault that she ended her life.
You just posted a forum tonight. It was about your Dad wanting to rape you, even though Dad is homophobic [we'll get to that later]. That forum is probably the reason why you're in this mood. No, Dad didn't rape you. But it was a touchy issue. It happened when you were only nine years old. But, then it happened again, only a few months before the incident with Mom. Yeah, it hurts to think about it. And it IS incest. and that forum was hard to joke with, but you pulled it off. And hey, you have some possible ideas to keep in mind whenever you go stay the night at Uncle's.
Yeah, that most recent time with Uncle. It's the one that hurts the most. It's the one that's gonna haunt you for the little amount of life you have left. You're scared. The idea of death is scary. But you can deal with it. It's horrible to know you're going to die before you even turn forty. It's horrible to think about it. But hey, maybe by then, they'll have a cure for AIDS.
Dad. He really is a homophobic jackass. He calls you all types of things, even though you get enough of it at school. Yeah, it really sucks. You hear the words "Idiot" and "Worthless" and "Unlovable" and "Untouchable" and "Satanic f**" and "Disgusting f**" and can't forget the EVER-popular, "Faggoty f** f** f**." But don't worry. Even with the names Dad calls you, even with the bruises he gives you, you find a way to smile. Act happy. All for the benefit of your friends. You love your friends. "Love is complete selflessness." They have their own problems [most of them you have to help them with], they can't be worrying about you. Besides, like Dad says, You're not that important.
I hope this helped you, even a little bit.
Love, Vincent.
I'm feeling emotional.
For the first time in a while.
And I need to vent.
So...Yeah.
I'm taking my friend's idea...And writing a letter to myself.
[I am not a liar. I do not exagerate. I do not want/need your sympathy. I just need to vent.]
Vincent...
So. You were born...November 25. 1989. November...that's a GREAT month, right? Last year in November...A lot of things happened. Yeah...You turned 17. Another year closer to death. Lots of death...Yeah...Just know Vincent, it's not your fault. That day...November 20. Yeah..It hurts to think about it. But Vincent, no matter what Dad says, it's not your fault. Yeah...He says you're the reason she died. He says you're the reason she locked herself in the garage in the middle of the night. He says it's your fault she kept the windows up. And let the car fill with carbon monoxide. As her face relaxed in an eerie way. How looking at her, you'd think she's asleep. But her internal organs are going crazy. She starts internally bleeding. Her lungs start trying to push the gas out. Her brain went crazy from the small doses of oxygen. But, Vincent, it's not your fault. Mom loved you. No matter what Dad says, Mom loved you, and it's not your fault that she ended her life.
You just posted a forum tonight. It was about your Dad wanting to rape you, even though Dad is homophobic [we'll get to that later]. That forum is probably the reason why you're in this mood. No, Dad didn't rape you. But it was a touchy issue. It happened when you were only nine years old. But, then it happened again, only a few months before the incident with Mom. Yeah, it hurts to think about it. And it IS incest. and that forum was hard to joke with, but you pulled it off. And hey, you have some possible ideas to keep in mind whenever you go stay the night at Uncle's.
Yeah, that most recent time with Uncle. It's the one that hurts the most. It's the one that's gonna haunt you for the little amount of life you have left. You're scared. The idea of death is scary. But you can deal with it. It's horrible to know you're going to die before you even turn forty. It's horrible to think about it. But hey, maybe by then, they'll have a cure for AIDS.
Dad. He really is a homophobic jackass. He calls you all types of things, even though you get enough of it at school. Yeah, it really sucks. You hear the words "Idiot" and "Worthless" and "Unlovable" and "Untouchable" and "Satanic f**" and "Disgusting f**" and can't forget the EVER-popular, "Faggoty f** f** f**." But don't worry. Even with the names Dad calls you, even with the bruises he gives you, you find a way to smile. Act happy. All for the benefit of your friends. You love your friends. "Love is complete selflessness." They have their own problems [most of them you have to help them with], they can't be worrying about you. Besides, like Dad says, You're not that important.
I hope this helped you, even a little bit.
Love, Vincent.
Community Member
heart
If I was right there next to you
Id give you the biggest hug in the world
mrgreen
And then Id steal you away
In my brand new 'used' Saturn
Hehe
<3
And we could both escape our problems
Cause thats what friends are for
They help eachother
<3
And like I said
Im your friend now,
So if you ever need to talk or vent or anything
Dont hesitate to talk to me about it
And Ill try my greatest bestest to do what I can do for ya
heart