|
ah. what a horrible day.
first off, i got back a quiz in spanish (on which I thought i did well on) and now
i have just jeopardized my grade. i don't know what's been happening to me this
marking period, but all of a sudden, all of my grades are dropping, and i don't even
know what's the reason behind all of this! i'm doing everything i've always done...
in world history class today, we were talking about binding the feet of women in
china. studying china (especially about customs and traditions of china -- just the
other day i overheard a guy in my class saying how stupid the concept of
veneration of ancestors is) is a very sensitive subject for me -- it's not like i can
hide the fact that i'm chinese from everybody, and there are certain points in
history where being taught in an american school might distort some facts, and the
teacher will probably impose upon the students his naturally western-biased views.
well, somehow, the subject turned to how foot-binding has stopped nowadays, and
why asians generally have small feet -- which is, you know, kind of bias, but
generally true. the teacher wasn't getting what the class was saying, so one of the
guys in the class said, "well, look at ----'s feet! i mean, they're tiny!" (*imagine
everybody staring at my feet at this moment*).
okay, don't get me wrong, foot-binding is terrible, but that just shows, along with
cosmetic surgery among other things, how far humans can go for beauty. during
the whole discussion, i just stared down at my notes on my desk and scribbled
more notes down, trying hard to ignore the chaotic discussion going on around me.
my feet are comparitively large (for my age) to my mom, so mr. ----- was right
when he said that my feet are not that tiny. so maybe just everybody else's feet
are large...?
it was so embarrassing. i knew he didn't mean it the way he said it, and he later
said sorry to me in art class... and he was truly sorry and saw his blunder, of which
i am glad. mr. ----- also pulled me aside when he saw me at lunch and talked to
me, but after that, i totally broke down, i couldn't stop the tears. as long as i stay in
america, i guess i am always going to have to face these... comments about
chinese. that guy who commented about how stupid the veneration of ancestors
was... well, first off, he has a huge ego and thinks a little too highly of himself and
of his british origins.
speaking of which, i'm reading my history homework right now, and i am appalled
by how disgustingly the british acted to the chinese: first, plundering chinese
palaces, then selling opium and refusing to stop the opium trade on moral grounds.
no offense to any british reading this. just an observation.
and not to mention -- dancing in gym today was torture. the guys had to choose the
girl at the end of class... and who was picked last? me. thank you very much. i
guess i'll never quite fit in here...
|
